From Unschool to Public School

We planned on homeschooling. As things progressed, unschooling became more our style.  Our daughter was able to learn what she wanted when she wanted, we were both infinitely happier, and she was learning.

Fast forward to her sixth birthday, less than a month before the school year.  We were on a walk, and as we passed the local elementary school, she turned to me and said she wanted to go to school.  This has happened before and normally she forgot by morning so I nodded and said we would talk about it tomorrow.

She woke up the next day, a Friday, announced she really wanted to go to school and asked when it started.  So, I called the Montessori Charter school to get a private tour. Strangely, people where I live don't like how this elementary school doesn't test as well so they are barely half full.  And for a Montessori school that's huge!  It's free, it follows a Montessori philosophy, and there are so many openings.

That afternoon we had our tour.

I have never seen her so happy.

The Assistant Director gave us our tour, answered all our questions, and it felt right.

Less than a month later, she was starting first grade in a public charter after we originally wanted to unschool.

To many, this is a little out there.  Unschooling isn't the most popular view to begin with, but then it seemed like we gave that up for the exact opposite when she started public school.

To me, we were following her wishes.  I've never been a parent that pushes their own ideals and wishes on their child, to the amusement of many, and we let her choose this too.  Why should I force a decision I wanted on my child when she clearly wanted something different?

Now, I will admit, a public Montessori Charter isn't the same as public school.  There are no desks, most learning is very hands on, there are no group lectures, no forced learning.  She is allowed to learn what she wants when she wants, the Montessori way. 

At first I felt like a homeschooling failure.  How could I want to do something so much, and then love it more when she is at school?  How could we both love this new system more than the freedom of the old?

It took a long time for me to understand that our lives are not a fantastical whim.  Rarely, if ever, do things go exactly how you planned.

For me and my daughter, this is the best thing we could have done.  Both of us are happier.  She has such a hard time when school is out!  She loves the new environment, loves her friends, loves that she has control over her learning.  I love that she is so happy.

In the end, I trusted her.  I was nervous and worried, but she is thriving.

Some children would not thrive in a public schooling atmosphere.  Others would not thrive in an unschooling atmosphere.  Trusting them to help make that decision is so important.  Yes, I understand that not everyone has the resources to make these choices, and it can be so hard to decide when your choices are much more limited, but you can still trust your children.

Talk to them.  Find out how they learn.  Find out what they want to do.

They might surprise you with how much they truly know and understand about what they want.

When You Don't Homeschool...

... can you still hold tight to your ideals? Can you raise unconventional children in a conventional environment, in this case that being public school?

Well, I certainly hope so. That is, I'm working on it.

Overall, I love the public school my kids attend. There are various issues, some being school-wide, and others being city-wide (and thus harder to take on--not that I'm not trying!), as there are in any school, but so far we've been very fortunate and my two older children have had largely positive experiences.

As a family, we do some things differently than many of the families in our neighborhood. As a member of the "natural parenting" community, I see a great deal of blog posts and articles all about homeschooling and its benefits. I know them well, as I homeschooled my son before he attended Pre-K. My husband and I both value public school education, and we like the fact that our children have other authority and mentoring figures in their lives--we think of it as part of the "it takes a village" mentality.

Since I don't currently homeschool, I've often wished that I could find resources on how to continue to parent the way we do while our kids are in an environment that is, at times, very different, if not completely opposite from the one at home. After three years of parenting children receiving public school education under my belt, I've made some discoveries on what works for us and I'd love to share them with you.

First and foremost, know your child. I have two typical, active, social children, and neither of them require any special services. They are adaptable and adjust quickly to change, and they are not intimidated by the size of the school, nor the number of students (1400! Though I have to say it doesn't really feel that way). Our school is a good fit for them. Children's needs vary. Some may flourish with a busy, active pace, while some may need a smaller, quieter environment. Don't automatically rule out a large school, but don't assume your child will adjust, either. If you are a free range parent, be aware that children in typical public school are expected to line up, sit down, stand up, and the like, pretty much by the end of Kindergarten (it's really not that bad. But again, it's all about your child, and your personal beliefs about learning and teaching).

Make friends. With your child's teacher, that is. We all hear teacher horror stories, but in my experience, the vast majority of educators are wonderful people who care about children and like (if not love) their job. One of the best things I've done for my kids has been to get to know their teachers. I keep up correspondence in whatever way is appropriate and accepted, and keep the lines of communication open. Since I sometimes have requests or questions that most other parents do not, being friendly is a must. If a teacher goes above and beyond to work with my child, I make sure he/she knows I appreciate the extra attention. And if my children are involved in a discipline issue, I make sure I am receptive and not defensive. Nothing turns a teacher off more than a defensive parent who seems unwilling to listen to constructive feedback.

Get involved. Admittedly, this can be difficult, if not impossible, if both parents work. I have to say, though, there is no better way to find out what's happening in your child's school, and in their classroom, than investing some time there, no matter how minimal it is. Parent teacher conferences are a great way to start, as are curriculum days and any open classroom days that your school might have.

I am on our school's PTA and it is absolutely invaluable for me and my children. I am in the building several times a week and have gotten to know the administration, as well. This gives me the opportunity to bring to light issues that I would like the school to work on, and allows me to even tackle some of them along with a wonderful group of parents who are also devoted members of the PTA. It's a sincere privilege. If joining the PTA or volunteering time seems impossible, start an email list with other parents in your child's class, and keep communication going that way. Other parents are a great resource. I have gotten much useful information just chatting at pick-up.

Unless the school has a food co-op or a kitchen that makes fresh meals, make your kids' lunch. The NYC Department of Education tries, goodness knows--but the meals are still not things I would feed my children on a regular basis. For one, they are not prepared on site, and they are mass-produced. There is a huge healthy eating initiative going on right now, and though I appreciate the effort, that food cannot possibly compare to what I make at home. With all the focus we put on healthy, organic food, it would be impossible to accept school lunch for my children.

Don't let school supply lists or teacher requests intimidate you. When my son was in Kindergarten, it was requested that we send his snack and lunch in brown paper bags and ziplock bags. I sent a note kindly explaining that as we were trying to reduce waste in our household, all of the containers and bags we sent our son to school with were reusable, and were not to be thrown away (and this will certainly be the case for my daughters, as well). LunchBots, KidsKonserve and LunchSkins are all companies that sell reusable lunch supplies.

Each year's school supply list requests Purell sanitizer, a conventional cleaning spray, and Huggies baby wipes, and I stubbornly send in BabyGanics hand sanitizer and Seventh Generation cleaner and wipes. I'm thisclose to sending in a homemade cleaner, next!

Choose your battles wisely, and fight fervently. There are certain things, like slowing the curriculum pace or shortening the school day, that are pipe dreams, and I've learned that it's best to focus on things that are feasible for the school to change or improve, like amount of physical activity the children receive, activities and fundraisers to promote spirit and unity, and various other concerns where a solution seems attainable. This isn't to say that the big fights shouldn't be fought, though. Just this past year our school won a huge battle with the Department of Education, and it was one of our community's finest moments.

Don't let your child become another brick in the wall. Our school makes a great effort to make its students feel attended to and looked after. I've never been made to feel like my child is just one among the crowd. At the same time, there is a certain amount of group activity inside the classroom and out, and there are certain expectations that are placed on the children in terms of following directions and receiving instruction (if only for safety and the sheer mass of children going anywhere at a given time. Lunch periods boast over 400 kids in one space). As long as the children are treated respectfully and are given positive reinforcement, I don't take issue with that. Here is something I'm attempting to tackle: the lunch aides in particular leave a lot to be desired in terms of how they approach the children. My goal is to meet with the principal and talk about giving the aides further tools to positively discipline the kids without incessant yelling or unreasonable punishment.

When it comes to the instruction your child receives in the classroom, be as involved as you can with the teacher to find an approach that works for your child, the teacher, and the class as a whole. Whatever the concern is in your school, be it academic or otherwise, speak up and make your voice be heard. You are your child's best advocate. Don't assume anyone else will fight for him/her.

Stay strong--you and your children both. We are living in an age where seemingly every person in civilized society has a gadget and/or is on some type of social networking site. I share a fair amount online and I have a love/hate relationship with social networking, and I don't think it's appropriate for my children. My eight year old son asked me what Facebook was the other day. As I explained it to him I made sure he understood that in our family, at least, that kind of activity is reserved for adults. He also asked me when he would be able to get an iPhone (my answer was, when he's old enough to work and pay for it himself. Same for my girls. That's just the way the cookie crumbles). It's worth noting that many people we are close to and care about make different choices for their kids when it comes to this, so it's important that I reserve criticism and not come from a place of judgment, rather point out that these are our family's choices and what we believe is acceptable.

Along the same lines, my kids will ask for certain food, toys or activities that they see other children getting or engaging in. Once again, I do my best to reserve criticism--even more so since we talk a lot about people being created different, but equal. I have to accept that as many positive things as my kids are being exposed to, there is plenty of negative exposure, as well. and  I simply explain our family's beliefs and reiterate why we choose to live the way we do and consume what we do. It gets harder as our children get older, especially as they approach the age where insecurity sets in, and they just want to be liked. Going against the grain gets tougher and tougher. To that end, I try and instill in my kids a strong sense of self. I want them to be independent, confident and steadfast in who they are--and of course, that starts with me.

Come September, I will have two kids in school all day, with only my little one left at home to brainwash—er, parent and teach. My hope is that all my children will take with them the good lessons and learn to ignore the bad.

What Happens When Your Water Breaks and You Don't Deliver Within 24 Hours: Part 2: My Pre-birth Story

Okay, so Part One was all about the research that went into the decision I made not to go to the hospital even after my water had been broken for over 24 hours. This is my personal story.

It was Wednesday, March 6. Like all wednesdays were at the end of my pregnancy, this one was busy. In the morning, was my son's library story time (a highlight of his week), followed by a rush to make lunch and get dinner in the crockpot, than get my son down for his nap, then head out to a town 45 minutes away for my now weekly midwife appointments (there was only one midwife at that location, the closest to my home, and she is only there one day a week), than another 45 minute drive home when I would rush in to get dinner finished and on the table. This had been my routine for three weeks. As I was placing dinner on the table that night, though, something different happened. I felt a small gush of warm liquid. I'm not going to lie. My first thought was, "Crap. Not again. I don't want my water to break when I am not in labor yet!" My second thought was maybe the baby (always low in my 39th week) had put pressure on my bladder. I went to the bathroom and there was no more "leaking" so I thought maybe I could stop it with my kegels and that it wasn't really my water. However, immediately after leaving the bathroom, I started to feel squirts every time I took a step and there was no stopping them. It was my water breaking before labor. Again. I asked my husband to finish setting the dinner table, went upstairs, changed my clothes grabbed a poise pad (I had convieniently bought two large bags of them just in case) and told my family over dinner that my water had broken. My husband wanted to call everyone immediately, but I held him back knowing that labor could take awhile in coming (little did I know how long!). In the end we made four phone calls that night, one to each of our mothers as a heads up we could need child coverage that night, our doula, and our midwife practice because I wanted to make sure that a tub room would be available for me. We then double checked our labor bags, set them by the door, got out all our "birth day celebration" goodies we had bought for our son and his grandparents to decorate the house with while we were at the hospital birth center and went to bed early to rest up for the big day. Around ten, I started getting moderate contractions lasting about a minute and coming every five minutes and this lasted for about three hours, and I tried to rest through them knowing that active labor would be much harder. Gradually, they petered out and I started the next morning still not in active labor.

Thursday March 7

Still, I knew from research that something like 90% of women have their babies within 48 hours of their water breaking, so believing statitics to be on my side, I did not worry. In fact, I even felt a little proud of myself. Here was my chance to do what I thought I should have done my first labor, stay home longer! I did make a call to my chiropractor whom I had been seeing weekly and she agreed to adjust me just in case labor was slow in coming because of some positioning issue (I had been doing the daily exercises from spinning babies every day since my 31st week, and I continued to do those, but I figured chiropractic help couldn't hurt!). She came in on her day off to do it (because the doctors at Volz Chiropractic are awesome like that). I then decided to gently encourage labor by doing some walking and our family of three went to the mall to walk (or in my case, waddle) and invite our fourth member to join us. We walked for a few hours, with me staying well hydrated and making frequent stops to change my pads and to breathe through some decent contractions. We then came home for lunch and I took an after lunch nap with my son to rest up for the big show. However, by the time we hit the 24 hour mark, my natural contractions had increased in intensity, but were still very sporadic and I was no where near active labor despite bouncing on the exercise ball post nap and doing tons of labor "visioning." At my husband's insistance, I called to check in with our midwives (we'd been touching base with our doula all day) and the midwife on call told me that it was their offical recommendation that I come in for pitocin if I was not in active labor at the 24 hour mark. I spoke with her about the research I had done about pit increasing my risk as a VBAC mama for uterine rupture and the study I had read that found that women who had their babies up to 72 hours after their water had broken showed no increase of infection if they stayed at home until they were ready to deliever and had no cervical checks. She agreed that I was making the best medical decision for me and my baby, reiterated the signs of infection that I should be monitoring myself for and I agreed to check back in at 48 hours if I was not already in the birth center at that point or holding a newborn in my arms. I then went for a long walk and had a good cry because despite the fact that I was sure my research was solid and I was doing the best thing for my baby by doing nothing, I still was starting to feel like my body was letting me down by not going into active labor yet. However, I decided that either I trusted my body and God or I didn't and I would just have to trust a bit longer. That night, my contractions intensified during another three and a half hour session and were five minutes apart lasting one minute or longer, but once again, alas, they faded out.

Friday March 8

The second morning, I was feeling a little bit more panicked. I wasn't sure what the response would be if I checked in with the midwives that night and was still not in active labor. Luckily, my amazing doula came over and calmed me down. She brought with her a list of gentle, natural encouragement methods (from Susan Weed's herbal book) we could try that would be far less dangerous than pit for me. Although I am not in favor of induction at all in normal circumstances (I know there are certain medical circumstances in which it is advisable, but in general I feel it's best to let nature take its course), I figured my water breaking was a sign that my baby was ready to be born and maybe just needed a little encouragement. So, that day, I:
1. Did an intensive hypnotherapy session with my doula creating new birth goals and relaxation while having castor oil applied topically to my belly and benefitting from essential oils.
2. Did some homeopathic induction therapy
3. Walked again. A lot. While staying hydrated and taking breaks.
4. Bounced on the ball again.
5. Went to an acupuncturist for the first time. This did bring on some mild contractions, but nothing like the natural contractions I would have very randomly that were intensifying ever so slowly. It was a very strange, awkward experience and one day I will write that story because it is very funny and worth telling.
6. Did nipple stimulation three times. This brought on the best contractions, but they would always peter out after a few hours.
7. Did more aromatherapy with essential oils my doula had brought for me.
8. My usual positioning exercises only doubled.

Still at 48 hours, we were not in anything close to active labor. I called in as promised and got the midwife I had been seeing for the duration of my pregnancy. I was feeling pretty defeated and would have done anything she asked me to do, and she could hear the defeat in my voice (a first for me in the entire time I had been planning this VBAC). She told me that she did not think I was in the right mental place to face pit (a chemical I had privately labeled my nemesis in my last birth) and that she was not worried in the least that I or the baby was not okay. She knew I was monitoring myself and that my "home" bacteria were the least compromising bacteria I could be around. She told me that it was her "official recommendation as a midwife in the practice and a representative of the hospital that I come in after 24 hours of no labor after my water broke" BUT as MY midwife she thought I needed to rest, do whatever else I thought I needed to to induce labor gently and naturally and to come in the next morning or even the next evening for pit if I felt that was what was right. I agreed to do just that and asked directions to try castor oil (the only thing I had not tried yet); she gave me her recommendation and I hung up. My husband was freaking out at this point. He had been sure that we were going in that night for pit (as had I) and felt panicked at the thought of staying home even longer, but we had a long talk and I told him what I knew to be true. I was fine. The baby was fine and would remain fine and I needed rest and a new outlook if I were to have a successful VBAC in the near future.

That night, the night before my own birthday, I took castor oil shots chased with orange juice which aided in my nipple stimulation induced contractions and thoroughly cleaned me out, but did not put me into active labor although by morning my natural contractions were extremely strong, just still random. The next morning we woke up, walked the dog, I opened two birthday cards from my husband, kissed our son goodbye with many tears shed by all (this was far from the labor at home until the very end, leave only for the birth itself and then come home as soon as possible labor plan I had from the begining of my pregnancy), and headed on the road to the birth center to be put on pitocin once again. It had been about 63 hours since my water had broken. My "birth" story will be told in part 3.

Thanks for reading,
Shawna

Letting Go of the Fear of Birth: Three Writing Activities to Let Go of Your Fear and Pain

Currently, I am 34 weeks pregnant. Although I had already thoroughly researched my VBAC vs repeat C-section options, had already researched providers and had even made the decision to choose a midwife practice covered by my insurance, but with the nearest office located 45 minutes away and a birth center located over an hour away, about six weeks ago, I sat down to write my birth plan, and freaked out. I found myself looking at my first birth plan (the one that had actually ended in a c-section with my son three and a half years ago) and I found I could not stop crying. Panicked, I called my doula. "I need help with my birth plan! I said I'd discuss my birth preferences with my midwife at our next appointment and I can't seem to stop crying!"

After a few moments of questions, my doula gently pointed out that she didn't think I was quite ready to be writing out a birth perferences list yet because it sounded like I still had some fear left from my birth experience. I was shocked. I knew my body was strong. I was no longer afraid of the pain of labor (having already experienced that for over 24 hours in my last birth). I knew I could trust my midwife practice because I had thoroughly researched them. I thought I was ready, but what I didn't realize is that while I knew I could birth this baby with my head and my heart, I still felt the fear and the pain I hadn't fully dealt with yet from my first birth and, like it or not, it was bubbling up as soon as I even thought about my next birth. I may have read all the books. I may have thought and planned circles around myself, but labor is not an intellectual acitivy and I was not able to intellectualize my way out of my feelings. They would have to be "felt" through. My wise doula pointed out that the good part was that this was coming up long before I was in actual labor and so I had time to deal with my feelings. She suggested some fear release activities and, even though some of the ideas seemed a little kooky, I decided to do them. Figuring it was better to work on this now rather than when I was in the midst of labor, I decided it would be worth it to try them. That decision has made all the difference! Six weeks later, I feel like I am in a much more peaceful and stronger place to face labor in three to six more weeks. I have finally come to a place where I am giving myself permission to do anything I feel I need to do to make this birth happen and then when I am full term, I will let go and let God and this baby show me the birth I'm supposed to have. This is huge for me. I am a bit of a control freak. This is especially true when it comes to my babies, but letting go is probably the most important thing I can do when the time comes and that is what I'm working to do. I know that by letting go of my fear and my pain, I have paved the way to let go in labor. So, take some time alone for yourself and try some of these activities for yourself and see if they help.

Activity 1: Writing Letters

The first assignment my doula gave me was to write a letter in pencil to myself really letting myself express everything I felt I had been repsonsible for that had gone wrong in my first birth. She also suggested I write a letter to anyone else I felt I needed to talk to about my first birth or anything else that was coming up before my labor (any issues with men, authority, family, etc.). She then said that I should read each letter three times aloud to myself and then burn them. I know, I know, it sounds a little crazy, but she said the smell of the carbon in the pencil burning and the act of hearing my own voice say my fears would give my body permission to let go of those feelings. I have to say, there was definitely some satisfaction in watching those hurtful, painful thoughts burn. Afterwards, it just doesn't seem like those old painful thoughts and memories have the same power over me and whenever I think of this new birth now, I just don't see it as connected to those old feelings of regret from my first birth.

Activity 2: Mind Shifting
This is another kind of strange activity that seems a little kooky, but can yield some surprising things about what you really believe about yourself, about birth, and about life in general. The key is to pick an aphorism that you want to believe or that you think you should believe, but aren't sure you do, yet, and to write it multiple times until you hear your mind either arguing or agreeing with it and then quickly write those thoughts down, too, switching back to writing the aphroisms whenever you feel yourself running out of things to say. So, for example, you could write "I believe that birth is natural and safe and doesn't require thought," "I believe that birth can be successful in any environment," "I belive that I am strong enough to birth my child any way my baby needs to be birthed," or any other aphroism that appeals to you. This was actually very powerful to me because I did it awhile after I did the first activity and after I'd already done some serious soul searching, so I felt empowered by the lack of new things that came up for me. It made me realize just how far I had come and how much more mentally prepared I was to make this a new birth.

Activity 3: Birth Visualization (Two Variations)
This last activity took the most time and was probably the strangest one for me. Because I had taken a hypnobirthing class during my first pregnancy and had already started listening to some of my old hypnobirthing tracts to prepare for this birth, she suggested I get in contact with a local hypnobirthing practitioner about coming up with a special, individualized tract for this birth. I got in contact with the practitioner and she suggested that what would be most effective would be for me to write a tract for myself, record it, and then to try to relax and listen to that tract everyday. She also sent me some of her class materials (she is not offering any classes right now, but I really wish she was because her class seems amazing) and in her class materials, she talked about writing a letter to a close friend post dated about a year after the baby's birth detailing all the positive things I wanted to happen during the birth, after the birth, and in my family over that year. The letter is to be read daily until the baby is born and can be written very early in the pregnancy and can help set your mind to focus on the positive over the next year and to commit yourself to making those things happen. So, I did that immediately and it was actually very fun to imagine the relationship my children would have with one another a year from now and how I could feel about this birth a year afterward. I even wrote about how awesome I hoped my relationship with my husband would be at that time! She had told me that my birth visualization tract would probably be most effective if I listened to it in the last four weeks or so before birth, so I found this script online and I changed it into first person and added personalized details and things I really thought it was important for me to hear and I recorded it. I'm not going to lie. It was really surreal to record it and it felt a little weird saying some of that stuff aloud, but ultimately I feel the more times I allow myself to envision my body giving birth naturally, the more I give my body permission to give birth when the time comes. It couldn't hurt anyway!

Ultimately, I have no way of knowing exactly what shape this birth will take, but at least when it is all said and done, I can tell myself I did everything I could to make the birth I felt I, my baby, and my family deserved and if I end up with another outcome, I will give myself permission to say, "I did everything I could. This was just what was meant to be." That seems like a much more healthy place to be than where I was before!

Thanks for reading!
Shawna

Gennifer Albin Blog Tour and Book Giveaway

 Today we are excited to share a guest post from The Connected Mom's founder, Gennifer Albin! 

Gennifer Albin is a recovering academic who realized she could write books of her own and discovered, delightfully, that people would read them. She lives in Kansas with her family and writes full-time. Her debut novel, Crewel, the first in a trilogy, will be published in October 2012 by FSG/Macmillan.

You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. She also blogs infrequently at genniferalbin.com and weekly at The League of Extraordinary Writers.  

  

For today's guest post Gennifer shares her thoughts on balancing her passion with family life and her aspirations for her children's education. Striving for Balance is, in my opinion, the most important of the eight principles of attachment parenting yet it is often overlooked. Many thanks to Gennifer for sharing what balance looks like for her family.

***

 When I got my book deal, I was faced with a decision: keep squeezing in writing or put the kids in preschool.  It was a big decision because I’d long flirted with the idea of homeschooling, which is something I very much admire.   

A lot of factors went into my choice, but really it came down to balance and accepting my own limitations as a mother.  Even though I loved the idea of homeschool, I knew it wasn’t going to be a good fit for my personality, and I also knew that trying to meet demanding deadlines of the publishing world while being a stay-at-home mom would be a challenge.

As luck would have it, I had 3 months of editing and revising with the kids at home to give me a taste of what life would be like if I chose the first option, and it wasn’t pretty.  Personally I saw the increase in television and take-out and crying as a sign that I wasn’t going to find balance without help.  So I began the great preschool search and decided very quickly on a Montessori-based program.

As a mother who favors natural parenting and alternative schooling, Montessori’s focus on the child-centered learning spoke to me.  My children participate in group and individual activities.  They guide their learning by choosing the topics they are interested in and studying them at their own pace.  My two year-old delights with her clever Montessori coat trick at gatherings, and at the end of the day, we come home and have a family life — most of the time.  

 I also appreciate the sense of familiarity and attachment, my daughter has developed with her Montessori teacher.  Something that is especially beneficial to her as I now travel quite a bit for book promotion.

It wasn’t easy to choose a place for my children outside of the home, but we approached it with a sense of adventure.  It was an opportunity to make new friends and engage with people from different cultures and family situations.  Both of my children are thriving.  I find it easier to disengage with work at the end of the day and focus on family.  And most of the time, I meet my deadlines.

***

As Part of this blog tour, Gen's publisher has generally offered to give away a copy of CREWEL along with a selection of literature for the whole family. The winner will receive a bundle including: 

• CREWEL/Gennifer Albin 
• BEAR HAS A STORY TO TELL/Erin & Phil Stead
• A IS FOR MUSK OX/Erin Cabatingan
• ABE LINCOLN’S DREAM/Lane Smith 
• HELLO BABY/Roger Priddy – mirrored board books!

  Please complete the following steps to earn up to 10 entries into the contest. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Montessori and Attachment Parenting

Oliver's first day of school

On one hand it would seem that Montessori education and attachment parenting fit together beautifully. Both respect the child as his own person above all else, both are inherently child-led, both value independence and self-direction/determination. For me, the leap from stay-at-home attachment parent to putting Oliver in a Montessori preschool program was a logical one.

While there are solid commonalities between Montessori and attachment parenting there are also differences. Yet to me some of these differences aren't quite so opposing as some may see on the surface but are, in fact, interconnected. For instance: independence and attachment.

For someone who's main focus is on independence it may be hard to see attachment behaviors as anything but dependence; in my reading I have come across the odd passage here and there to suggest Maria Montessori herself may have thought so too, this small quote in conclusion to thoughts on dependence of both adult and child made me squirm a bit in particular: “[...]An adult becomes a slave to such children. Even though child and adult have a deep understanding and affection for one another, they are ensnared in the same net.” (In fairness there are other passages in Maria Montessori's works to suggest a more attachment friendly world view, she's a hard woman to pin down on this issue.)

However as an attachment parent I firmly believe that true independence cannot exist without the solid base of secure attachment. When a child is free to experiment with independence at his own pace with the net of attachment to catch him when he falls or even just second guesses himself he has more freedom to take risks (an important part of learning), and more freedom from the great distractions of fear or anxiety. Respecting my child's independence (of which he has oodles) is a huge part of attachment parenting for me, the need for independence has to be met just  as the need for sleep or affection. In my opinion and experience forcing independence, or more accurately the allusion of independence, by discouraging attachment behaviors is counterproductive to that kind of respect.

So when it comes to separation anxiety; how does one balance the two methodologies? Many of the montessori materials I have read encourage what I call the 'clean break' method of making the transition to school. The child is nervous but mom or dad stay calm, say goodbye and leave while the teacher takes over reassuring the child. For parents, like myself, who have never turned our back to a crying child (unless it's to count to ten or stop a pot from boiling over, let's be reasonable here) the clean break feels absolutely wrong on every level. But I do believe that there is a valid argument for it even within attachment parenting theory.

As children grown their ability for attachment does as well. A newborn attaches to his primary caregiver, in Oliver's case he stayed in my arms a vast majority of the time, he nursed on demand from my breast, he woke and slept close to me so his cues could be recognized and responded to in a timely manner. As he grew he branched out, he started seeking out his father's face and presence like he sought mine and (eventually) came to trust that his father could be relied on to meet his needs just as I could and his attachment to his father strengthened. Now at almost three years of age he has secure attachments with several extended family members. Attachment parenting is not meant to happen in isolation and children should be encouraged to connect with their community. Leaving my child who is upset with a caregiver I am confident will provide him with consistent and loving care isn't 'anti-attachment', it is a difficult transition but one that most children adapt to fairly easily as they form connections with their teachers and learning environment.

However; sometimes children don't react well to the 'clean break'. Oliver was, to my surprise since he's always been so easy going and independent, one of those children and so it was time to put my ideas of how Montessori and attachment parenting can work together to the test. Despite the fact that Oliver was calming down and joining his class quite quickly after I left in the morning I started to notice that his anxiety was starting earlier and earlier before school started. What started as a bit of sadness when we said good-bye at the door turned into sadness as we rode the bus to school then into nervous questions about the coming day at the bus stop, then into frantic pleading that I not leave when the alarm clock went off in the morning. The clean break was not helping his anxiety, it seemed to be making things worse.

The most obvious answer to the problem presented here is that Oliver just isn't ready. To some extent I agree, he is excited to be at school he just isn't old enough to understand that school can still be fun even if Mommy isn't there to enjoy it with him. My first reaction was to pull him out and try again in six months or so but for me it wasn't so simple. Another key component to attachment parenting is balance and for me to juggle work I find fulfilling with being present, mindful, and compassionate as a parent regular time away from each other needs to happen, trying again in a few months is still an option but I would much rather find a way to help Oliver with the transition in a gentler way.

So as I write this I am sitting on a surprisingly comfortable waiting chair outside of Oliver's class room while he plays. Yesterday and this morning we have arrived early, sat and cuddled outside the room and allowed Oliver to make his own forays into the classroom. He hangs up his coat and runs back to make sure I am still here, he says hello to his classroom plant and runs back to make sure I am still here, he goes to see what his friends are working with and runs back to make sure I am still here. I hug him, reassure him, then explain that I have work to do, and so does he. At the bell there are still tears, his teacher still has to pull him in crying but the crying stops almost as soon as the door closes. He waves as he walks by to use the bathroom or go for outside time but stays in cue with the other children. Yesterday he asked at snack time if I was still out here and was happy with the answer that I was without feeling the need to check for himself. The initial separation is still hard, as it should be for his age and developmental stage, but the knowledge that I am here seems to be enough to quell the vast majority of his anxiety. After only a day under this arrangement he woke up excited to come and learn.

Some will ask how long I plan to keep this up, if I am not encouraging dependence by 'giving in' and remaining near by. The answer certainly isn't definite. My knowledge of my child tells me that sometime early next week I will be able to tell him I am stepping out for a little while and he will be ok with it, but prior to this my knowledge of my child would have told me he'd joyfully embrace the independence in the first place so really, who knows. I do know that attachment is about relationships and relationships, as I've mentioned, have to be balanced. As much as I want and need this time away I also need to recognize that my child still needs me. Not because he's 'dependent' but because he's three and this is an experience very different from anything he's done before. I am willing to go slowly, I am willing to work with him and his teacher (who, by the way, had been so fantastic about all this) to lessen his anxiety, I am willing to meet him half way. Is it what Maria Montessori would have done? Maybe not, but Maria Montessori isn't Oliver's mom and our end goals are the same: a free and self directed child who is eager to learn.

Reasons to Give Public School a Chance

This post will seem like it's coming out of nowhere, but in fact, it stems from my family's search for a new home and the discussions my husband and I have had about the schools in the districts around the area we are planning to settle in. Part of this is a bit of a manifesto and part of this is just me exploring my feelings. Bear with me.

I know that many parents choose home schooling and I completely support a family's right to do so. Until the last 200 years or so, home schooling was the norm. Consequently, many, many intelligent and revolutionary thinkers throughout history are products of homeschooling and tutoring. It is a well established and successful way of imparting education for those who choose to devote themselves to it and believe in it. Meanwhile, universal public education is a fairly new enterprise. It wasn't until 1918 that all then existing states here in the US had laws making school mandatory until the eight grade or age 16. So, public schooling is really still a fledgling project. Institutionalizing education has had a profound effect on it and, many critics argue, a detrimental one. You only have to rent Waiting for Superman or watch any investigative report and you know that our public school system is struggling. Currently, even though my son is only two and is likely four years away from any kind of kindergarten decision, my husband and I have been house hunting and struggling to find the school district we feel we could entrust our son's education to and, frankly, the search is enough to drive us both crazy. Meanwhile, I listen with envy to my friends who are home schooling or are planning to home school and absolutely believe that they have made the right choice for their family. I just don't feel that kind of conviction to home school myself. (I haven't completely ruled it out, either. I feel more than capable enough and willing enough to do it in the right circumstances and whether or not my son goes to school outside the home, I am completely devoted to his education.)

The truth is, there is a part of me that still has a soft spot for the great project of public education. Call it patriotism, call it idealism, but part of me (maybe the same part of me that caused me to work in a public school for four years in a low paying paraprofessional position and to ultimately get my teaching license) is still impressed with a social goal of providing education to all children regardless of race, class, "ability," or gender., (I am a licensed (although that license is about to lapse because of my current devotion to being a stay at home mom) special educator, so accessible learning for students of all capabilities is a special passion of mine.) Compulsory, free, public education was a way of making it possible for even children of parents who could not afford for someone to stay home and teach to still learn from dedicated adults. We may not be meeting all of our reading level goals here and we are struggling, but we enjoy a much more literate society than we did one hundred years ago. It was a revolutionary idea to say that no matter what education level your parents or grandparents obtained, we will try to provide an education that will level the playing field and whatever else motivations that caused compulsory education to become reality (including eliminating child labor competition in business), that was still a prevailing goal of compulsory education.

Furthermore, I can't help but think that I would not be the person I am today if I had not gone to school outside the home and frankly, I'm saying that even though the school I went to the longest during my thirteen years was not even that good. Of course, I had parents who read to me, supported me, and encouraged me to learn outside the home, too. (Just as my son will have.) What strikes me most when I think back on my education is the access I had to people and ideas I never would have encountered ordinarily. Many of my classmates are ones that helped me find my way to attachment parenting and whose friendship has helped me immeasurably in my ongoing journey into motherhood. Where would I be without them? School is doorway that opened up new worlds for me. Did I run into people who challenged the world view my parents subscribe to? Yes. However, I think that was a good thing. Because my beliefs were challenged, I had the opportunity to critically decide whether or not they were beliefs I wanted to own and integrate into my life. I feel like they made me stronger, and I would love for my son to have the same experience. I know that if he goes to school, he will be impressionable, at first, and that is why it will be just as critically important for me to be part of his public education as it would be for me to be a part of his home schooling education. He will still need me to help him discern real argument from propaganda and he will need me to model critical thinking. He will also need me to model strength in convictions and a level of participation that is exhausting to even think about, but that will be true no matter where he learns.

I also must admit that general book learning was easy for me and maybe that is part of why I feel a connection to public education. My primary methods of learning (reading/listening) are the traditional and most prevalent methods available in classrooms. However, after sitting in education classes, I know the traditional school environment I went to is not necessarily the one that my child will go to. There has been a shift in most education communities toward more progressive, constructive learning that encompasses more hands on, real world application, and self-directed, creative projects. Am I saying that is absolutely true for every school? No. But a part of me feels like if that is not the case, especially in a community funded public school, than everyone in the community should get involved until it is. Now, I am a realist in that I know there are many parents out there who do not want to have anything to do with their children's education, but for those of us who do, we can make a difference in the education of both those children and our own children if we make our doubts and criticisms heard. I feel like the last thing a school needs is docility in its parents or in its students and a part of me can't help but feel that if I do choose to home school, I'll be absenting myself from the fight. One of my main reasons why I feel I want to give public schooling a chance is because I do not want to accept the idea that the public school project should be abandoned. Call me vain, but I don't want my family's educational beliefs, our social beliefs, our environmental beliefs, our religious beliefs and even our parenting philosophy to be absent from the lives of the children in our community. I want my son to share his life, his philosophies, and his ideas with people I would never even know to introduce him to and I want it to be while I am still in a position to defend him and to help him stand his ground.

Thanks for reading,

Shawna

Sunday School: Pure Play

Welcome to the Connected Mom Sunday School. No matter what the course of your child's education, be it unschooling, homeschooling, or conventional schooling, The Connected Mom Sunday School aims to provide you with fun and easy activities for children of all ages and stages. Have an idea for a Connected Mom Sunday School activity or theme? Either comment below or send your idea to connectedmom (dot) julian (at) gmail (dot) com.)

A few weekends ago at a homeschool conference, I was privileged to hear a talk by Peter Gray, research professor of psychology at Boston College--and the author of one of my favorite education blogs. I had to duck out early due to a family concern, but not before I learned about a troubling trend: research has shown a steady increase in childhood anxiety and depression as opportunities for free play and expression have declined. Historically, kids have learned through self-directed interactions with their world. Is it possible that keeping them constantly busy with adult-directed activities contradicts their nature? Could we be unintentionally harming our children's emotional wellbeing?

With this fresh in my mind, I cannot bring myself to highlight structured activities. This week, I will not describe any specific project. Instead, here are some suggestions for facilitating child-directed play. Set up the opportunity, then sit back and marvel at where your child's imagination will go.

Toddler

Playing with Light

If you haven't checked out Play at Home Mom, I highly recommend it. These moms share all sorts of fun activities to expose your kids to new sensory experiences. One tool they often use is a light box or light panel. The simplest DIY version simply consists of a string of white Christmas lights inside a clear storage bin. You can see that light box, along instructions for a more complex version, at their website. Kids can use a light box with all sorts of small items; transparent or translucent items work really well. You might set out transparent building blocks, colored films, or jars of colored water. Now, you might ask "Isn't this activity parent-directed?" Not really. The moms lay out the activities in a way that attracts the childrens' attention--they call it an "invitation"--then they allow the kids room to experiment.

Preschooler

Busy Bags

Busy bags contain small, self-contained activities to occupy toddlers. Some activities may be more structured, such as tracing letters or matching colors. There's nothing wrong with that, but since this post focuses on child-directed play, I'll share a few of the more open-ended ideas:

• About 20 twist ties in a small bottle: Kids can twist them, straighten them, build sculptures, or drop them one-by-one into the bottle.
• Face feature magnets: Clip pictures of various facial expressions from magazines or from the Internet, stick them to magnetic sheets, and cut out. Store them in a small tin. Kids canuse them to make all sorts of silly faces.
• Velcro shape sticks: Attach small pieces of velcro to the ends of several craft (popsicle) sticks. The original idea has you color code the sticks to form specific shapes. For a more freeform version, Iwould skip that part and let kids build whatever they can imagine.
• Play dough and small cookie cutters.
• Colored pasta or beads and string or pipe cleaners to string it on.

These are nice because you can throw them into your purse or diaper bag and pull them out at times when your toddler must sit and wait (at a restaurant, for example). The activities allow your toddler's mind to wander and play, even when his body cannot. If you really want to encourage free play, take two or three activities along and let your child choose one.

School-Age

Create Your Own Fantasy Land

With a few items from around the house, your child can create an imaginative setting for pretend play. Legos, boxes, or blocks become buildings. Use other household items to complete the landscape. A shallow bowl could make a lake or an oatmeal can a cave. Your child can act out any number of scenarios in his fantasy land using toy cars, animals, people. (This is one of many great ideas from Kathy Eugster. See the rest at her website.)

Older Child (10+)

Playing with Technology

Media seems to have an undeserved bad reputation when it comes to free play. But not all screen time is created equal. In fact, technology opens up all sorts of new creative avenues for kids to explore. Both Carnegie Mellon and MIT have developed simple programming languages (Alice and Scratch, respectively) especially for young people. Kids and teens can create their own interactive stories, simple computer games, and more. Programming not your child's thing? Maybe she'd like to produce a video. Set her loose with a cheap video camera, then allow her to edit the footage on the computer. Both Windows and Mac operating systems come standard with a video editor.

Sunday School: Tumbling Into Fall!

Welcome to the Connected Mom Sunday School. No matter what the course of your child's education, be it unschooling, homeschooling, or conventional schooling, The Connected Mom Sunday School aims to provide you with fun and easy activities for children of all ages and stages. (Have an idea for a Connected Mom Sunday School activity or theme? Either comment below or send your idea to connectedmom (dot) julian (at) gmail (dot) com.)

This week marks the beginning of Autumn! This time of year brings not only a refreshing break from the summer heat, but also fun opportunities for learning. Grab a jacket and try some of these activities that are taylor made for fall.

Toddler
Johnny Appleseed's Birthday

If you're eating seasonally, fall is the season for apples! September 26 also marks the birthday of legendary apple tree planter, John Chapman, or Johnny Appleseed. Read books about Johnny Appleseed, such as the picture book by Reeve Lindbergh. If there is one nearby, take a walk through an apple orchard and simply experience all it has to offer the senses. Listen to the leaves as they crunch beneath your feet. Smell the ripe apples. Taste the sweetness of a sip of fresh cider. Some orchards may even allow you to pick your own apples. If apples don't grow in your area, visit a farm or orchard that grows a popular local crop instead. What a great way to bring your child in touch with where our food comes from!

Preschooler
Pumpkin Investigation

Another popular fall crop, pumpkins offer more than just pie or jack-o-lanterns! Your little scientist will have fun observing them in many different ways. Teaching Tiny Tots shares several ideas for sizing up your pumpkin. Measure the weight and height of your pumpkin. Count the number of vertical lines around its outside. Drop it in a large bucket of water, and see if it sinks or floats. Then, using a pumpkin carving knife (kits are usually sold in the fall and are not sharp), cut open the pumpkin. Rinse and count the seeds, using tally marks to keep track. Use the tally marks to practice counting by 5s or 10s. If you like, you can even record your findings on their printable Pumpkin Investigation sheet. Now use your pumpkin however you like. If it's close to Halloween, make a jack-o-lantern. If not, cook your favorite pumpkin recipe or roast the seeds for a snack.


School-Aged Child
Changing Leaves

We all admire the colors of autumn leaves. This article from Science Made Simple, does a great job of explaining why the leaves change. Plants use chlorophyll, which gives them their green color, to make food. In the fall, the leaves stop making food, and the green chlorophyll disappears. Then we can see the bright yellows and oranges. Did you know that these colors are in the leaves all year long, but that the green covers them up? Reds and purples are made only in the fall and when the leaves are exposed to light. One way to see this in action is to find a tree that will turn red in the fall: perhaps a maple, flowering dogwood or a sweet gum tree. Before the leaves turn color, cover parts of several leaves with foil or heavy paper and tape (leave them on the tree). Once the leaves have turned, compare the areas that were covered to those left exposed. Where the leaves were covered, you should see only the yellows and oranges that were in the leaves all summer. Reds and purples will show only where the leaves were exposed to light. See the "Older Child (10+)" section for a more in-depth experiment about the colors in leaves.

Older Child (10+)
Hidden Colors in Leaves

From Science Made Simple comes another fun experiment with leaves. In the "School-Aged Child" section, we learned that some colors are in the leaves year-round, even when we can't see them. This experiment allows us to see the hidden colors. Collect 2-3 large leaves from a few different trees. Tear up the leaves and add each type of leaf to an empty glass jar. Pour enough rubbing alcohol into each jar to cover the torn-up leaves, and grind them into the alcohol a bit which a spoon or plastic knife. Cover the jars loosely with lids, foil, or plastic wrap. Set them in a shallow pan in which you have poured one inch of hot tap water. Keep the jars in the water bath until the alcohol has become colored (the darker the better). If the water cools off, replace it with more hot water. Flatten a coffee filter and cut it into long strips, one for each jar. Label each strip with the type of leaf in its jar. Remove the jars from the water bath. Place one end of each strip into its jar. Bend the other end over the rim of the jar and secure it with tape. Within 30-90 minutes, you should begin to see the different colors in the leaf travel to different lengths up the strip. You should be able to see different shades of green, and possibly yellow, orange, or red. Try the same experiment with a fall leaf and compare your results.

Sunday School: Beating the Heat

Welcome to the Connected Mom Sunday School. No matter what the course of your child's education, be it unschooling, homeschooling, or conventional schooling, The Connected Mom Sunday School aims to provide you with fun and easy activities for children of all ages and stages. (Have an idea for a Connected Mom Sunday School activity or theme? Either comment below or send your idea to connectedmom (dot) julian (at) gmail (dot) com.)

I hate to beat a dead horse, but the heat of the past few weeks has worn me out. I probably don't take my kids outside as much as I should. It could be hot for several more weeks, so why not make the best of it? I've hunted up some fun learning activities that give you a chance to beat the heat.

Toddler

Sink or Float

My boys can entertain themselves for hours with a bucket of water and some random items from our back yard. Start off with a large, clean pail filled with clean water. Play a game of "sink or float" collect small objects from around the yard and house. You might try sticks, rocks, leaves, small toys, empty bottles, etc. Predict whether they will sink or float, then test your prediction. Your toddler will enjoy experimenting with her environment and, of course, cooling off in the water. She may just like it enough to climb right into the bucket!

**Bonus: Older kids may like to discuss why objects sink or float.

Preschooler

Ice Cube Painting

Preschoolers will enjoy creating a cool piece of artwork while learning about the different stages of water. Kate of minieco.co.uk shares this beautifully simple activity. Freeze a tray of ice cubes, each colored by a few drops of food coloring. (If you are concerned about artificial dyes, India Tree makes natural food colors. Or you can make your own.) Once the cubes have frozen, pop them out of the trays and get creative! This activity is a great way to expose kids to how colors mix to make other colors. What happens when they paint with a red ice cube over a yellow spot?

Kate recommends laying out lots of paper, since this activity can get messy. Also, you can prevent stains on little hands by rubbing on a little moisturizer beforehand. For very young kids, who may to eat the ice, try plain ice cubes on dark paper. They will still get the sensation of the ice and the dark paper will show wet spots easily.

School-Aged Child

Ice Cream in a Bag

The Living Healthy Mom shares a fun ice cream recipe that is sure to keep you cool. This activity will help your kids practice measuring. It's also a great way to avoid artificial colors and flavors you may find at the local ice cream shop. If you have ever seen Superman ice cream ... ahem … on its way out, you know what I mean.

1. Add 1 cup milk, 3 tablespoons sugar, and 1 tsp. vanilla to a small zipper storage bag and seal it.
2. Place ice and rock salt in a larger zipper bag.
3. Put the smaller bag inside the larger zipper bag with the ice and rock salt. Seal the bag.
4. Shake the two bags until the ice cream freezes to your desired consistency. This should take about 15 minutes. If your child finds the bag too cold to hold, insulate it with a hand towel.

You can adjust the ice cream recipe however you like to suit your child's preferences or food sensitivities. The original author recommends coconut sugar and, coconut milk or almond milk. This one from the Youth Nutrition Education Program also looks promising.

**Bonus: With older kids, discuss why the salt helps the ice cream to freeze. Hint: The salt lowers the freezing point of the ice.

Older Child (10+)

Build a Solar Oven

Too hot to cook inside? Hot, sunny days are a perfect opportunity to cook outside and learn about solar energy. Going-Green-Challenge.com provides detailed plans for building a solar oven. The project uses a pizza box, shoe box, or shipping box; aluminum foil; black construction paper; a skewer or dowel; and plastic wrap. You will also need some basic household tools. The original instructions are quite involved, and I wouldn't do them justice to summarize, but you can find everything you need to know here: http://www.going-green-challenge.com/solar-oven-for-kids.html. Going-Green-Challenge lists five solar cooker recipes to try, including mini pizzas and s'mores. What other delicious dishes could you cook by sunlight?

**Note: This project requires the use of a box cutter, and will need the help of an adult.

Sunday School: Kids in the Kitchen

Welcome to the Connected Mom Sunday School. No matter what the course of your child's education, be it unschooling, homeschooling, or conventional schooling, The Connected Mom Sunday School aims to provide you with fun and easy activities for children of all ages and stages. (Have an idea for a Connected Mom Sunday School activity or theme? Either comment below or send your idea to connectedmom (dot) julian (at) gmail (dot) com.)

Kids can learn so much from working in the kitchen with you. Besides basic cooking skills, they can learn social skills, math and culture. Try some of these activities on a rainy summer day, or any time you hear "Mom, I'm bored!" Not only can you keep your kids occupied, but you will end up with fun snack too!

Toddler

As with most subjects, toddlers do not need a structured activity. They do best when simply allowed to explore, and the kitchen is full of sensory experiences! Let them cut soft fruits or cooked vegetables with a butter knife or children's knife. They also love stirring bowls and sprinkling cheese. Claire Battersby of Clever Toddler Activities recommends playing a "your turn, my turn game" while cooking to teach the concept of social give and take.

Preschooler

Sensational Sorter

Use a muffin tin to teach sorting and counting. Set your child up with a 6-cup muffin tin. Have her sort a pile of small items (pennies, buttons, nuts, etc.) into the cups (original author Jean Warren recommends 4-6 of each item). You can also teach counting by lining the cups with paper liners. On each cup, write a number from 1 through 6. Have your child place the corresponding number of items into each cup.

**Bonus idea** To involve more senses, blindfold your child and have her sort different small food items by taste or smell.

School-Aged Child

Sequence Sandwich
This activity will help your child learn critical thinking and the steps in a process (sequencing). Give your child a pencil and paper and have her write down, in order, the instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Have her write them for someone who has never made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before. Remind her not to leave out one step! Then try to make the sandwich following your child's directions to the letter (or have another child try it). Do not do anything that she has not specifically written down. Things can get silly at this point. Did she forget to have you open the peanut butter jar? Act confused. Did she tell you to use a knife to spread the peanut butter? If not, use your fingers. Then, have her change your directions so they are complete.

Older Child (10+)

Family Cookbook

If they have been helping in the kitchen for several years, children will likely have a collection of favorite recipes. Help your child look up his favorite recipes and record them in his own family cookbook. Give him a blank scrapbook, magazines for clipping pictures, glue, scissors, and any other supplies he might need to personalize his cookbook. If you like, you can also re-use an old book and design the family cookbook as an altered book. This is a great way to talk about family traditions. Discuss your family's culture and how the recipes were passed down. Or, take a global perspective and explore recipes and cultures from all around the world.

Kitchen clipart Copyright Lila* Star, The Spiritual Woman Ltd.

Sunday School: A Walk in the Woods

Welcome to the Connected Mom Sunday School. No matter what the course of your child's education, be it unschooling, homeschooling, or conventional schooling, The Connected Mom Sunday School aims to provide you with fun and easy activities for children of all ages and stages. (Have an idea for a Connected Mom Sunday School activity or theme? Either comment below or send your idea to connectedmom (dot) julian (at) gmail (dot) com.)

For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, spring has finally sprung. My family is eager to get outside, and one of our favorite outdoor activities is a hike in the woods. A hike presents all sorts of learning opportunities. Certainly, a walk in the woods is great exercise and provides opportunities to observe and experience nature. The woods also makes an interesting backdrop for learning about other subjects, like history and art.

Toddler:

Nature Sounds

Most toddlers cannot walk for a very long time, so allow plenty of time to stop and rest. Take advantage of one of these stops to play this sound awareness game. Sit quietly and have your toddler close his eyes and hold up a fist. Each time he hears a different sound, have him hold up one finger. When he has heard five different sounds, have him open his eyes. Then, share the different sounds you heard. This is a great way to practice counting, but if your toddler is not yet counting, just quietly listen to the sounds.

Preschool:

On the Right Track

Before you go on your hike, learn about the different types of tracks that animals make. Check out books from your local library, or look at websites like Beartracker's Animal Tracks Guide. When you go, take along a printout of different animal tracks for comparison. Have your child keep her eyes on the ground as you walk, looking for tracks. If you are having trouble finding tracks, you try looking for droppings--tracks will not be far behind! Compare the tracks to your reference sheet. You may also want to take a notepad and pencil to draw pictures of any tracks you cannot identify so you can research them at home. We found that this activity works especially well right after a rain, when the ground is slightly muddy.

**Bonus activity: While your child is looking for tracks, she may also find trash. Take a small bag and encourage her to pick up any litter she finds along the trail.**

School-aged child:

Greetings on The Trail

Practice handwriting and show concern for the environment at the same time! Some people leave messages by carving into rocks or trees, but that permanently damages the natural setting. Instead, have your child scratch a greeting into the soil with a stick. He could warn other hikers of perils ahead (e.g. "slippery rock"), or just leave a friendly hello. If the soil is too hard, moisten it with some fresh, clean water. This activity could also lead into a history lesson about how early people wrote by pressing objects into clay (cuneiform) or carving into stone.

Older child (10+):

Environmental Art

According to greenmuseum.org, environmental art is "art that helps improve our relationship with the natural world." Many environmental artists use natural elements such as sticks, stones, leaves and soil to create art like the Andy Goldworthy work pictured at the right. Once completed, these "ephemeral" works are left in nature to transform along with the environment.

Your child can learn more about this art movement by making her own work of environmental art. For inspiration, study the works of environmental artists. If you can obtain a copy, watch Andy Goldsworthy's Rivers and Tides, a film that follows the artist at work. Nils Udo and the Red Earth group create similar art. Take a sketchbook, pencil, and camera along on your hike. Allow your child to take in the setting and find elements that she would like to use. Give her time to sketch a design and lay it out. Once the design is complete, take a photo (or several) to preserve it. Leave the work to disappear back into the environment.

To find trails in your area, see these websites for trails in the US or worldwide. Have fun learning on the trail!