moving beyond gender stereotypes

This weekend is my daughter's 3rd birthday. She's having a party and she couldn't be more excited to share the day with her friends. When we started thinking about her birthday a month or two ago, it was pretty easy to come up with a "theme" the she would love. I asked her if it was what she wanted, and she agreed happily, and continued to want the same theme ever since. So, this weekend will be my daughter's Construction party. 

My daughter came upon her love of construction vehicles naturally. The major road that she and I drive when we go to visit my parents every month or so has been having work done for as long as she can remember (a multi-year, expansion project). Diggers are her favorite, and she gleefully points out every. single. one. along the drive. At daycare, she plays with her classmates with trucks... but also all sorts of toys, blocks, books, trains, puzzles, baby dolls, and in the play kitchen.

I never really worried about gender stereotypes in our household. I don't like pink, my husband's favorite color is purple, we both love to cook, he cleans more then I do, and we both work outside of the home. Since my daughter was born, I've bought her clothes from the boys section and girls section equally. We never turn down a gift of clothes, no matter what the color, and whatever she chooses to wear in the morning is fine by me, so long as its weather appropriate. We're also blessed with family and friends that don't bat an eye when we answer their question of, "what does she want for Christmas?" with "Trucks!" She adores her two babies, Lily and Laura, and has the best time pounding away on her tool bench.

I wonder if this is going to change as she gets older. Her interests will grow and change, for certain, but all I want is for her to know its okay to love whatever she loves, that her gender does not determine her interest, her actions, or her capabilities. I hope no one she meets, be it child or adult, will make her feel badly for choosing hobbies that are more traditional "boy" hobbies. And for my own part, I will do my best not to let my own interests or associations dissuade her from any traditionally "girl" hobbies.

My girl, she is perfect when she is building tall towers with blocks while wearing pink dresses, and perfect when she is rocking her baby to sleep while wearing brown sweatpants and a blue hoodie, or a football uniform.


How do you feel about gender roles in your household? Do your friends and family respect that? Do you feel moving beyond gender stereotypes is harder with a boy?

The Night Before My Birthday - Book Review And Giveaway

"The moon will soon rise, and the sun has just set,

But it’s still not my birthday yet..."

My little guy, Oliver, loves birthdays. He just turned 3 in September and every week for the six months previous to it he asked incessantly about his party and who would be there and how old he would be and what we would eat. Every birthday party we attended for other children was met with ridiculous amounts of excitement and boisterous renditions of the 'Happy Birthday' song for days leading up and following. But really who could blame him? Who doesn't like birthdays and parties?

I am guessing Oliver's enthusiasm was something he got from me. Since he was born I've put a fair amount of effort into making sure that his birthdays have been special and have created a few traditions for our family to keep it interesting, like telling stories about my pregnancy and his birth or making only his favourite foods on that day. The most intentional tradition I started was to theme his birthday celebrations around our favourite books. His first birthday was a indoor picnic style lunch based on 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' by Eric Carly; His second a wild rumpus that would make Maurice Sendak, Author and illustrator of 'Where The Wild Things Are' very proud; and just this year we celebrated over cookies at an 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie' party based on the book by Laura J Numeroff.  With the literary love showing through in our birthday celebrations I was quite Intrigued when I was approached by Joni Rubinstein about her book "The Night Before My Birthday" illustrated by Juana Martinez-Neal. 

"The Night Before My Birthday" was written in the spirit of creating family traditions to enhance the excitement and anticipation children seem to bounce with leading up to their birthdays and to highlight how special it is for the whole family to celebrate the birth of their cherished little members. It isn't an everyday book but meant to be read on the eve of the child's birthday as a special tradition. 

In order to write this review we were sent a hardcover keepsake copy of the book and since it was only a few weeks after Oliver's real birthday we totally cheated and read it a couple times (I have since put it away so that it will still be fresh and new and exciting in ten and a half months). When I asked Oliver what he liked best about the book he -of coarse- said that it was about birthdays but when I pressed a little further he seemed to really take to the page about dreams featuring a beautiful illustration of fluffy flying sheep:

"The moon will then rise and glow while I sleep, 

On white puffy clouds like fat fluffy sheep." 

He was also quite impressed by the fact that the book 'knew' he was three years old (The book is written with blank spaces where you can say the age your child is turning each year). 

My favourite part of the book is the extra keepsake pages in the back where you can record the date, your child's name and age, and who read the story that year. I like that there are lots of spaces provided so that many years from now I imagine I will be able to look back and remember several children having this book read to them on the eve of their birthdays. 

I also really appreciate that the images in this book feature families of many different backgrounds and make ups. The lack of diversity in the vast majority of children's literature out there is a whole other post for another day but needless to say the inclusiveness of this book makes me just that much happier to make it a part of our family's birthday traditions. 

This book would make an excellent gift for children of all ages and their family and if you order it from the website $1 of each purchase goes to direct aid and research charities which help children living with serious illnesses reach more birthdays. So really, there's no good reason why you don't need a copy!

Joni has generously offered to give away another copy to one of our readers as part of this review, please fill out the following wigit to gain up to 10 entries plus the chance to earn an entry per day until the contest closes. This contest is open to all and will remain open from today (11/12/2012) until Midnight on Sunday November 25th. The winner will be announced via the Connected Mom Facebook page on Monday November 26th and contacted via email. Good Luck!

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A Year In The Making

It's that time again, where we are forced to sit down and reflect on the year. This year I reflect not only because we are entering 2011, but also because Holliday will turn 1 on January 4.

I truly cannot tell you how quickly this year has flown by for me. It seems like just yesterday I was huge and pregnant, whining about how I wish this baby would make his appearance. Bouncing on an exercise ball in attempts to lure him out. Promising him handsome gifts if he would just be done already. After an unsuccessful VBAC, a legitimate emergency c-section brought my baby, Holliday, into the world. He was big, beautiful and healthy.

Over the course of the year we have climbed mountains. We worked through postpartum depression, feelings of inadequacy, breastfeeding challenges, hospital stays away from my boys, finding our groove as a family of four, poop showers, pee baths and serious sleep issues. We made it!

Almost a year later, Holliday is a big, happy, brilliant, incredibly cute, funny, loving little boy. He has a smile that can make grown men weak in the knees. He is cuddly and affectionate. He knows how to make his older brother laugh.... and cry. He's strong willed and stubborn. He is both a mama and daddy's boy. He is particular in what he wants and likes. He is amazing. Truly amazing.

I never in a million years ever thought I would be a mom. I didn't think it was something I wanted. I was perfectly content living a care free lifestyle with my husband. Things change and people grow, thankfully. I can't imagine my life without these boys.

Hours of rocking, burping, nursing and soothing. Sniffing his fuzzy hair. Smooching his warm, chubby cheeks. Playfully biting his pudgy hands. Pinching his beefy thighs. Battles on the change table. Hearing his contagious laugh. Having him kick his wonky, sweaty, salt tasting feet up to my mouth for kisses. I have enjoyed so many incredible moments watching this little man grow. My heart swells with love and joy when I think of how lucky I am to have him. He has made me grow not only as a mother, but a person. He taught me great patience and understanding, things I desperately needed to work on. I truly believe he was sent to me for a reason. He has brought so many laughs, tears and WTH moments to our lives. I wouldn't change one thing; not one.

Thank you for the great ride, Holliday. It has been absolutely amazing. I feel privileged to watch you as you grow and blossom into an impressive little man. I love your everything.

Happy Birthday Holliday!