Co-Napping: The Most Beautiful Thing You Can Do for Yourself and Your Child

We co-nap everyday. There, I said it. My son is two and I still co-nap with him. Grant you, now that he's up less at night, I don't usually sleep during his nap. Often I read a book or sometimes I turn on the tv and watch something quietly while he sleeps curled up against me. It's actually my favorite part of the day.

In the beginning, co-napping was a necessity. For the first six months, his reflux was so bad that he couldn't sleep for more than ninety minutes in a stretch night or day. The only way he could sleep during the day was if I held him against my chest in my arms or in a sling and bounced him the entire time in an exercise ball. (At one point, I timed myself bouncing him regularly for about eight hours a day.) So, when I finally found the magic combination of things to eliminate from my diet (milk, tomatoes, garlic, onions, wheat, anything spicy, and all citrus) so that he could side-lie nurse and fall asleep at six months without waking up screaming and in pain, co-napping was the only way I could survive because he was still up between eight and ten times a night. (In addition to food allergies and reflux, my son also found it impossible to sleep every time he was teething.) I still remember the first day I successfully nursed him to sleep laying side by side and then was able to fall asleep myself for a whole forty minutes. HEAVEN.

Of course, some things have changed in the year and a half since then. He used to nurse the whole nap (sometimes waking up to discover he had somehow stopped nursing and then would frantically latch himself back on) but now he just nurses for ten minutes or so and then, if he hasn't fallen asleep while nursing, he just snuggles up against me and goes to sleep. Now that we're down to one nap a day in the middle of the day, he actually sleeps an hour and a half up to sometimes two whole hours which is something that I never could have dreamed of in a nap when he was younger.

For me, it is a time to sometimes "re-set" after a difficult morning. It's a time of connection even as its also a time of relaxation. It's hard to stay stressed out no matter how many tantrums defined the morning when you look at your little one sleeping. Meanwhile, it feels good to take that time for myself to recharge as well. I now know why "siesta" is so important in some cultures. It's not about getting more sleep. It's about taking time just to be quiet and breathe.

I know what you are thinking . . . "How the heck does she get anything done?" Here's my answer, I do all showering, housecleaning, phone calling, errand running, and cooking with my son awake and in tow. (He doesn't even watch tv except for 30-45 minutes in the afternoon when I watch it with him snuggled up on either the couch or the bed.) Does that mean that it probably takes me a lot longer to do just about everything than it takes you to do it during your kid's nap? Probably, but to me, it's worth it.

You may also be thinking, "What will you do when he is older? Isn't she worried that he'll never fall asleep alone? What will she do when she has more than one?" Actually, I'm not really worried about what will happen when he's older or when we have another one. All my pre-mother worries about how I would do things produced no answers that I was able to use once I had my son, so I don't bother planning the future much anymore. The truth is that he will stop nursing some day, he will also stop napping some day, and we will (hopefully) juggle multiple children's sleeping schedules one day and I will cross those bridges when I come to them. For now, this works. It more than works; it is amazing. My son LOVES nap time. When he is tired, he practically runs to my bedroom and gets my book out for me. When he wakes up, he isn't screaming and yelling to be let out; instead, he simply smiles and gives me a kiss. Same with bedtime, he never fights me about going to bed because going to sleep is a relaxing time of connection for us.

I actually wonder what moms who use nap time as their time to scramble and get everything done will do when their children stop napping. What will their children do? My son already lives in a house where he knows the bathrooms need cleaning (and how to do it), the shelves need dusting, the laundry needs doing and the floors need sweeping. He knows there are times when he needs to be quiet because Mama is on the phone. Housecleaning time is just more time for us to be together and connect. Maybe if we have younger siblings some day that do need a nap a day with mama, he will be open to spending that hour quietly reading, coloring, or watching a movie and snuggling. After all, he's already learned that's what you do when you love someone who happens to need naps. So, if you are a co-napper and you are feeling guilty about it, don't! If you aren't a co-napper and you have the opportunity to do it either during the week or on the weekends, but were afraid of the consequences, don't be! Your children are only young once and they will only want to snuggle with you to go to sleep for a little while. (I read somewhere the week my son was born that children born now can reasonably expect to live to 100 years old, so if they only nap for three years and you nap with them . . . that's still only 3% of their lives.) Take the time for yourselves and your children. It is worth your time!

I know that co-napping isn't for everyone. So, if it doesn't fit "you," than I believe you. But for the rest of us, I say snuggle up!

Thanks,

Shawna

Fun Toddler Holiday Craft

**Spoiler Alert** Mom and Dad: This post contains Christmas gift spoilers! Please go stalk me elsewhere on the internet, or at least act surprised on Christmas day!

Connected mom Jenn wrote a fabulous 'how to' a few weeks ago for a holiday that doesn’t break the bank, and reconnects us with community and loved ones in a way that is truer to the original spirit of the season. One of her many awesome suggestions was to make ornaments and decorations with your children.

The Christmas trees of my childhood were far from the shimmering glamorous monoliths in stores and catalogs. Our fake tree stood barely 4ft tall. None of our ornaments matched any others on the tree, and no one cared whether they were evenly placed, or even if they were still intact. It just mattered that they all made it on the little tree, because almost every single one of them was made with love and enthusiasm by us kids. Among my favourites were the painted green bow-tie pasta wreath with my little sister’s dorky grin picture in the centre, my brother’s prized clay teddy bear that made me giggle because I thought it looked more like a Christmas turd than a Christmas bear (but I wouldn’t actually TELL him that to his face), and the genius Rudolph reindeer I fashioned from pantyhose, pom-poms and pipe cleaners.

I dream of one day hanging Oliver’s home made ornaments from the branches of my tree, whether they are beautifully crafted or look more like Christmas turds, I just can’t wait to retell their stories every year, and to see his skills and creativity grow and change from one ornament to the next. As well as filling my own tree with Oliver’s creations, this year I want to supply my parents with more home made goodness to add to the collection (my dad doesn’t set up the tree every year anymore, but I know those ornaments are still packed away somewhere). So about $20 at the craft store and a few hours* later I have made 6 (one for me & one for each set of Oliver’s grandparents, and one extra in case I break one) of these cute and simple hand print ornaments.

Please note that the use of these as holiday ornaments is totally optional, they also make great keepsakes to hang in your office or home all year round!

*I say a few hours, and in total it was maybe an hour or two worth of work, but it was completed over the course of an entire day. For younger children I highly recommend breaking the project into several manageable tasks to avoid them (and you!) loosing interest or becoming frustrated!


You will need:

• One package of oven-bake clay
• Rolling pin
• Round cookie cutter or cup just bigger than your child’s hand
• Small alphabet stamps (optional)
• Small metal eye hooks
• One glass or metal baking sheet
• Soft sponge or paint brush
• Acrylic craft paint in colour of your choice (optional)
• Glitter, gloss, or shimmer finishing paint (optional)
• One roll of fabric ribbon to match your paint choice

Your child can help with any one of these steps depending on their age, with the exception of step 4, I’ll leave you to decide which parts you will need their help for!

Oliver 'rolling' baking clay

1) Carefully read the package instructions of your oven-bake clay as preparation may vary from brand to brand.
2) Work your clay until it starts to soften up then roll it out to about a quarter to half an inch thickness and cut rounds with cup or cookie cutter.
3) Place eye hooks into the top of every round at about “10 and 2”

Oliver wasn't so sure about this part!

4) Wash your child’s hands thoroughly then gently press into the centre of each clay round. (Make sure to wash them thoroughly afterwards as well! I learned the hard way that baking clay leaves a greasy residue that can ruin clothing and furniture!)
5) (optional) Using stamps, or the end of a toothpick or pencil, write your child’s name and the year (example: Oliver 2010) either above/below the hand print or on the back of each round. I started out using a pencil to carve Oliver’s name into the ornament. I didn’t really like the result and ended up using a Gold craft marker to write on the rest of my ornaments after the fact. I think I would have preferred the effect that alphabet stamps would have.

Our first ornament ready for the oven

6) Place rounds on a glass or metal baking surface and bake as per package instructions to set the clay.
7) Once rounds have been removed from oven and cooled you can paint them, or leave them plain and skip to step 11.
8) Using acrylic craft paint and a small sponge or brush, paint the front of your ornament. I used a rag to lightly wipe away some of the paint after application to create more contrast in the hand print and make it more visible.
9) Let paint dry then flip ornaments over and paint the other side.
10) When all paint is dry repeat steps 8 and 9 with a glitter/gloss/shimmer finish if desired, and let dry. I used a “diamond effect” sheer acrylic glitter paint to finish mine and I love the way they catch the light.
11) String your ribbon through the eye hooks to create a nice hanger for your ornament.

Finished ornaments hanging in the afternoon sun

What are your favorite holiday crafts to do with your children? Do you have any holiday traditions designed to create memories and keepsakes?

Toddler Time: Toddler-Friendly Crayon Tutorial

My local library has these awesome disc crayons at one of their play stations, and I just love them.
1. They're a mix of colors, so they make cool pictures
2. They're easy to grip
3. They don't break into teeny tiny pieces as easily if you step on them in the dark

So we made some. School supplies are on sale, so the entire project cost 50 cents! I used about 30 crayons for 6 discs. Or use up all those bits of crayons from the ones you stepped on in the dark!

First you need to peel the wrappers. I used a craft knife to slice a line down the wrapper. About half came out easily this way. If I had thought of it I would have popped the crayons into my freezer to help loosen the wax from the wrappers.

Then I broke them up into colors families. Connected Son has his own muffin tin for his kitchen, so we used it. I would probably use a nonstick pan or muffin cups if you don't have a play tin, because it will leave some wax on non-coated pans.


Bake for about 25 minutes at your oven's lowest setting. My midwife made some this summer by leaving the pan in her car!

Let cool and pop into freezer for 30 minutes. They'll pop right out with a little help from a butter knife.

Connected Son was awed when he saw his. He absolutely loves them.