Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You're Still A Mom

As Mother's Day approaches, I have been thinking more and more about the babies I have that most people don't recognize.  I get flowers for my living daughter, but no one knows that in truth I have six babies.

When people recognize Mother's Day, they see what they want to see.  If a woman is pregnant and it is visible to all, she is a mother.  If a woman has children with her, she is a mother.

But, to me and many other women, the obvious mothers aren't the only ones that should be celebrated.

There are many mothers that need more love during this time than those with living children.  The mothers that have lost children, that appear childless, are still in fact mothers.  They deserve to be celebrated also.

Those of you that have lost children, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss, you are still in fact a mother.  No one can ever take that away from you.

Since my first loss three years ago, I have changed a lot as a person and changed what I believe about pregnancy.  I believe that regardless of gestation, a baby is a baby.  If you know you are pregnant but never really get that clear positive test, or you start bleeding within seconds of getting that test, you are a mother to that precious miracle.  If you carry that child to 8 weeks or 20 weeks or 44 weeks, you are still their mother.  If they tell you that your baby was "chemical" because you lost them before 5 weeks, you are still their mother.  If you hold your precious child in your arms or just see a few drops of blood, you are still a mother.

It hurts to be looked at with pity because you aren't getting flowers or presents, especially when people don't know or choose not to understand why your arms are empty.

You are a mother.

Just because your baby couldn't stay with you doesn't mean that you shouldn't be included.  Mother's Day was made to include and celebrate motherhood.  When we lived in smaller communities and had the support of a village, no woman was left out, even if her children weren't living.

You are a mother.  No one can take that away from you, and this Mother's Day, remember the precious baby you were given, and how you were chosen specifically for them.

Nothing can replace a mother's love, and this year, we honor you.

The Cord

We are connected,

My child and I, by

An invisible cord

Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord

That connects us 'til birth

This cord can't been seen

By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work

Right from the start.

It binds us together

Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there

Though no one can see

The invisible cord

From my child to me.

The strength of this cord

Is hard to describe.

It can't be destroyed

It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord

Man could create

It withstands the test

Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,

Though you're not here with me,

The cord is still there

But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart

I am bruised...I am sore,

But this cord is my lifeline

As never before.

I am thankful that God

Connects us this way

A mother and child

Death can't take it away!

Author Unknown

*Check back tomorrow for a giveaway for you mothers of angels and precious blessings that left this Earth too soon*


Kelly said... [Reply to comment]

Beautiful post. Very moving!

AprilA said... [Reply to comment]

Thanks for this. It means a lot. I'm a mother of a step-son, a living son, a living daughter, several 'chemical' babies and a very recent 12weeks gestation baby. I am also a mother to the baby(ies) I hope to have.

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