Monday, April 25, 2011

Sick Mommy Manifesto

3am Monday morning and I am unable to get back to sleep after my son, Oliver's, regular night feed. This is odd because normally I barely wake enough to thrust my breast in the general direction of my son's rooting shadow & hope it's good enough for a decent latch.

The reason for my waking soon becomes clear. My head feels heavy, my sinuses are packed tight, my mouth is dry from breathing through it exclusively, and when I try to swallow what little moisture remains I am met with scratching protest which very nearly turns into a coughing fit that would surely wake my now re-settled toddler if I let so much as a grunt escape.

I am sick. [pout]

There are several things about parenting as my full time job that I love. I love that I can do it in sweat pants. I love that I get paid in smiles & cuddles. I love that I get to choose my own projects & spend my days experiencing the world through my child's eyes.

I DO NOT love that I don't get sick days.

Your head spins every time you stand? Too bad, toddler's climbing the bookshelf so you'd better get moving! 
You want nothing more then to lay on the couch under a pile of your own snot rags while sipping hot tea? Sorry, if you don't get up to toss your tissues & feed that baby he'll start eating the used tissues you leave laying around. 
Feel as though napping through your cold sweats & chills would make them so much more bearable? Unfortunately your little one didn't get the memo about that extra nap you would like to schedule in.

While it would be tempting to have my husband call in sick to his job to solve this predicament, the sad truth is that illness spreads, and he is more then likely going to need those sick days for himself in a couple days. So here I am, slightly delirious & a lot miserable wondering where the heck my village went to? You know, the one that supposedly raises children?

If you know this feeling. This feeling of being so sick & miserable that you are wondering how on earth you will make it through the day without straight jacketing your child & tying him to a stick in the yard, this manifesto is for you!
The Sick Mommy Manifesto
I will employ the electronic babysitter (tv) early and often without shame or guilt! Their brains will not rot completely from one day of Nick jr.

 (if applicable) I will rely heavily on breast milk to feed the child so I don't have to get up & make anything. The extra immunities are probably a good thing anyways right?

 I will complain to my twitter friend's about how crappy I feel no matter how many un-follows my whining gets me. The ones who stick around are the closest thing to that village I am going to get!

 I will bribe quiet time & cooperation with any means necessary. 'good' parenting be damned, I need rest to get better.  

 I will actually 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. I've only been giving the advice for years, it's time to start following it myself for a while.

 I will use any pity afforded me by friend's or family to have dinner & movies delivered to the door step... And maybe get that pile of laundry done. You know, the one I wouldn't have done myself even if I were feeling good. (I shouldn't need the pity! Where's my village?!)

I will not be a hero, or a martyr. I will take the drugs. I will feel better!


Shawna said... [Reply to comment]

Love this! I want every mommy to read this!

Rachael said... [Reply to comment]

Feel better!

mommypants13 said... [Reply to comment]

So true so true, I'm going to print out your manifesto and keep it in my medicine cabinet so I can refer back to it when I get sick :=)
Hope you feel better soon!

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