Saturday, December 11, 2010

My Mama Manifesto

Being a mom and a blogger has had its ups and downs this week.  I'm reminded that as Connected Mom gains visibility, scrutiny of it increases.  I'll be the first to admit I'm not the thickest skin blogger on the block, but I also know my philosophy does not match up with every visitor who reads this site.  So I'm laying it on the line.  This post is my own philosophy, what I hope to achieve with Connected Mom, and the things I'm most proud of about this site's community.


Me:
I am not a perfect parent.  I don't want to be.  I think I'm a better parent for having faults.
I follow attachment parenting principles.  When I recommend bed-sharing, co-sleeping, or babywearing I do so because I truly think it has a positive affect on the child and the parent.
I don't give advice or suggestions on issues I have no experience with.  It would be bad advice.
I have a circumcised son, but I do not believe in circumcision and made that discovery too late.  I write about this occasionally to promote intactivism and to remind us that it's ok to admit our mistakes.
I really care about a woman's story.  Many of you have shared experiences that keep me up thinking and I'm grateful for your connection.

Connected Mom:
I started this blog in the beginning of 2010 to document the homebirth after cesarean that didn't happen.  It became therapeutic for me to blog and I decided I wanted to start a blog that would offer positive connections.
I've always wanted this blog to be a bridge between mainstream and AP parenting.  I see it as a salad bar where anything you take for your plate is healthy and nurturing.
I want this place to be positive.  There are enough blogs that moan and make light of mothering, some of which I enjoy, but I hope this is a place of encouragement.
I can't promise you will agree or enjoy everything I write about, but it is always well-intentioned.

My community:
Our facebook page is so awesome.  I am so blessed to have a nonjudgmental, open group of diverse followers.  There is such a laid-back, supportive quality to it.  Thank you.
I am proud of how many people have opened up, asked for help, offered support, and connected through comments, twitter, and facebook.

So thank you.  My little blog has had over 45,000 hits since I made it theconnectedmom.com in June.  It went from about 1,000 hits a month to over 15,000 in December alone.  It's funny to remember how excited I was when a post was read 100 times, but even though our numbers are growing the core mission remains the same to reach out and connect even with only one person.  So could you do that today?  Smile at the cashier at the market?  Stop and hold open a door?  Write out holiday letters to old friends?  Just connect.

5 comments:

Pamela said... [Reply to comment]

Beautiful sentiments, beautifully said.

Allison said... [Reply to comment]

Just found you and really enjoying it. Keep up the good work!

Dionna @ Code Name: Mama said... [Reply to comment]

I'm sorry if you've had some negativity. I wish more people would go by the old mantra of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I would add to that, "if you don't have anything nice to say, or if you can't disagree nicely, don't say anything at all."
I don't understand why we can't all disagree or have different parenting philosophies without making each other feel like crap.
It is hard to put yourself out there, and I'm grateful to have you in my community. You rock!!

Amber said... [Reply to comment]

I am not the thickest-skinned blogger, either. But I've discovered that by sharing my truth, while being respectful of other peoples' truths, I attract more of my 'right' people. And in the process, it serves as a buffer against negativity, because I have some truly fabulous readers and commenters who help hold the spirit of the place.

I love your manifesto, and I love that you're speaking your own Truth. And I believe it's possible to do those things without going to sleep crying every night.

36D said... [Reply to comment]

Ditto this - it's hard when you get criticism but you're certainly not alone. As soon as you 'put yourself out there' it's going to happen... I'm not thick skinned at all. I have now changed my settings so that when someone leaves a comment they get a message saying that if they're rude/ personally attack me their comment will be deleted. It's your page and you're not trying to hurt anyone - your Manifesto is great! You're doing great work. :)

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