When You Don't Homeschool...

... can you still hold tight to your ideals? Can you raise unconventional children in a conventional environment, in this case that being public school?

Well, I certainly hope so. That is, I'm working on it.

Overall, I love the public school my kids attend. There are various issues, some being school-wide, and others being city-wide (and thus harder to take on--not that I'm not trying!), as there are in any school, but so far we've been very fortunate and my two older children have had largely positive experiences.

As a family, we do some things differently than many of the families in our neighborhood. As a member of the "natural parenting" community, I see a great deal of blog posts and articles all about homeschooling and its benefits. I know them well, as I homeschooled my son before he attended Pre-K. My husband and I both value public school education, and we like the fact that our children have other authority and mentoring figures in their lives--we think of it as part of the "it takes a village" mentality.

Since I don't currently homeschool, I've often wished that I could find resources on how to continue to parent the way we do while our kids are in an environment that is, at times, very different, if not completely opposite from the one at home. After three years of parenting children receiving public school education under my belt, I've made some discoveries on what works for us and I'd love to share them with you.

First and foremost, know your child. I have two typical, active, social children, and neither of them require any special services. They are adaptable and adjust quickly to change, and they are not intimidated by the size of the school, nor the number of students (1400! Though I have to say it doesn't really feel that way). Our school is a good fit for them. Children's needs vary. Some may flourish with a busy, active pace, while some may need a smaller, quieter environment. Don't automatically rule out a large school, but don't assume your child will adjust, either. If you are a free range parent, be aware that children in typical public school are expected to line up, sit down, stand up, and the like, pretty much by the end of Kindergarten (it's really not that bad. But again, it's all about your child, and your personal beliefs about learning and teaching).

Make friends. With your child's teacher, that is. We all hear teacher horror stories, but in my experience, the vast majority of educators are wonderful people who care about children and like (if not love) their job. One of the best things I've done for my kids has been to get to know their teachers. I keep up correspondence in whatever way is appropriate and accepted, and keep the lines of communication open. Since I sometimes have requests or questions that most other parents do not, being friendly is a must. If a teacher goes above and beyond to work with my child, I make sure he/she knows I appreciate the extra attention. And if my children are involved in a discipline issue, I make sure I am receptive and not defensive. Nothing turns a teacher off more than a defensive parent who seems unwilling to listen to constructive feedback.

Get involved. Admittedly, this can be difficult, if not impossible, if both parents work. I have to say, though, there is no better way to find out what's happening in your child's school, and in their classroom, than investing some time there, no matter how minimal it is. Parent teacher conferences are a great way to start, as are curriculum days and any open classroom days that your school might have.

I am on our school's PTA and it is absolutely invaluable for me and my children. I am in the building several times a week and have gotten to know the administration, as well. This gives me the opportunity to bring to light issues that I would like the school to work on, and allows me to even tackle some of them along with a wonderful group of parents who are also devoted members of the PTA. It's a sincere privilege. If joining the PTA or volunteering time seems impossible, start an email list with other parents in your child's class, and keep communication going that way. Other parents are a great resource. I have gotten much useful information just chatting at pick-up.

Unless the school has a food co-op or a kitchen that makes fresh meals, make your kids' lunch. The NYC Department of Education tries, goodness knows--but the meals are still not things I would feed my children on a regular basis. For one, they are not prepared on site, and they are mass-produced. There is a huge healthy eating initiative going on right now, and though I appreciate the effort, that food cannot possibly compare to what I make at home. With all the focus we put on healthy, organic food, it would be impossible to accept school lunch for my children.

Don't let school supply lists or teacher requests intimidate you. When my son was in Kindergarten, it was requested that we send his snack and lunch in brown paper bags and ziplock bags. I sent a note kindly explaining that as we were trying to reduce waste in our household, all of the containers and bags we sent our son to school with were reusable, and were not to be thrown away (and this will certainly be the case for my daughters, as well). LunchBots, KidsKonserve and LunchSkins are all companies that sell reusable lunch supplies.

Each year's school supply list requests Purell sanitizer, a conventional cleaning spray, and Huggies baby wipes, and I stubbornly send in BabyGanics hand sanitizer and Seventh Generation cleaner and wipes. I'm thisclose to sending in a homemade cleaner, next!

Choose your battles wisely, and fight fervently. There are certain things, like slowing the curriculum pace or shortening the school day, that are pipe dreams, and I've learned that it's best to focus on things that are feasible for the school to change or improve, like amount of physical activity the children receive, activities and fundraisers to promote spirit and unity, and various other concerns where a solution seems attainable. This isn't to say that the big fights shouldn't be fought, though. Just this past year our school won a huge battle with the Department of Education, and it was one of our community's finest moments.

Don't let your child become another brick in the wall. Our school makes a great effort to make its students feel attended to and looked after. I've never been made to feel like my child is just one among the crowd. At the same time, there is a certain amount of group activity inside the classroom and out, and there are certain expectations that are placed on the children in terms of following directions and receiving instruction (if only for safety and the sheer mass of children going anywhere at a given time. Lunch periods boast over 400 kids in one space). As long as the children are treated respectfully and are given positive reinforcement, I don't take issue with that. Here is something I'm attempting to tackle: the lunch aides in particular leave a lot to be desired in terms of how they approach the children. My goal is to meet with the principal and talk about giving the aides further tools to positively discipline the kids without incessant yelling or unreasonable punishment.

When it comes to the instruction your child receives in the classroom, be as involved as you can with the teacher to find an approach that works for your child, the teacher, and the class as a whole. Whatever the concern is in your school, be it academic or otherwise, speak up and make your voice be heard. You are your child's best advocate. Don't assume anyone else will fight for him/her.

Stay strong--you and your children both. We are living in an age where seemingly every person in civilized society has a gadget and/or is on some type of social networking site. I share a fair amount online and I have a love/hate relationship with social networking, and I don't think it's appropriate for my children. My eight year old son asked me what Facebook was the other day. As I explained it to him I made sure he understood that in our family, at least, that kind of activity is reserved for adults. He also asked me when he would be able to get an iPhone (my answer was, when he's old enough to work and pay for it himself. Same for my girls. That's just the way the cookie crumbles). It's worth noting that many people we are close to and care about make different choices for their kids when it comes to this, so it's important that I reserve criticism and not come from a place of judgment, rather point out that these are our family's choices and what we believe is acceptable.

Along the same lines, my kids will ask for certain food, toys or activities that they see other children getting or engaging in. Once again, I do my best to reserve criticism--even more so since we talk a lot about people being created different, but equal. I have to accept that as many positive things as my kids are being exposed to, there is plenty of negative exposure, as well. and  I simply explain our family's beliefs and reiterate why we choose to live the way we do and consume what we do. It gets harder as our children get older, especially as they approach the age where insecurity sets in, and they just want to be liked. Going against the grain gets tougher and tougher. To that end, I try and instill in my kids a strong sense of self. I want them to be independent, confident and steadfast in who they are--and of course, that starts with me.

Come September, I will have two kids in school all day, with only my little one left at home to brainwash—er, parent and teach. My hope is that all my children will take with them the good lessons and learn to ignore the bad.

yoga: a personal persuit becomes a bonding experience

After I had Gwen, I lost myself in motherhood a bit. There is no denying that you change, on a very profound level when you become a parent. After a year, I knew I had to do some work to find balance in my new life. I needed to make sure that I was caring for myself, and addressing my own needs, not just Gwen's. I started going out with girlfriends for occasional dinners, and started volunteering with a state park clean up once a month. About 9 months ago, I added yoga to my weekly routine, and it has quickly become one of the most crucial ways that I find balance in this mommy life of mine. I only attend a formal class once a week, but it is one night a week to focus solely on me, and my emotional, physical, and mental well-being.

This, and more amazingly gorgeous family yoga pictures, can be found here.

Recently though, I decided it might be fun to share what has become a passion of mine. Not that one night a week - that is still mine, and mine alone - but yoga in general. Gwen has shown a curiosity in this pursuit that keeps me out past her bedtime regularly, so when she asked me about it a few weeks ago, I decided to ask her if she wanted me to show her what yoga was. She was very excited about the prospect and quickly soaked up each position I showed her. At first, it was just something that she brought up sporadically, but once she started showing her school teachers different positions (her favorites are tree and wheel), I thought it was time to make this something more regular. I have a family yoga DVD in hand that I can't wait to show Gwen.

At first it seemed funny to me that something which brings me so much joy as a personal pursuit would be something that is such a joy to share with Gwen as well. Honestly though, when we love something we want to share it with the world, and that's what Gwen is to me. The benefits are numerous as well. Gwen's knowledge of my practice was important to me, because I want her to be aware from a young age that my physical health is a priority; I want physical activity and healthy pursuits to be a focus of hers. There is so much pressure on girls to look a certain way, but this has a different focus - feeling healthy. Our conversations are never about how I do this to fit into my pants, or so I don't get fat, since that is not at all what it is about; our conversations are about how yoga helps me to feel healthy, strong, and gives me more energy for other types of play.


As we continue to explore this passion, I hope Gwen will find, as I have, that she is becoming more in tune with and more aware of her body. I want her to be proud of what her body is capable of, and to understand that with practice and patience, that capability can grow.

Talking To Kids About Sexual Health

I got into a pretty interesting debate a few weeks ago about teens and sex, more specifically birth control and whether or not it should be available to teens without parental permission. I am not going to go too far into that debate right now but I would like to touch on a subject that came up during this debate regarding sex education.

For the record I whole heartedly believe that teens NEED to have access to birth control and information about sexual health in order to stay safe, and I believe that forcing kids to seek parental permission limits their access to these resources. Would I like my teens to come to me to discuss these things? Of course, but I accept the fact that they may not feel comfortable doing so.

That being said, the person on the other side of this debate brought up a fair point: Can you really expect a teenager to have enough awareness and reasoning skills to make an informed decision about their medical care?

My basic answer is that if a teen has enough information and initiative to seek birth control before having intercourse they probably have a good understanding of the stakes they are dealing with. My longer answer is that we cannot and should not leave the answer to this question up to chance.

Will my teenagers come to me to talk about their sexual health? Maybe, maybe not. Will I take the time to sit down with them and talk about sexual health? Absolutely. And not just once, not when they reach a certain age, not with partial information or half truths designed to ‘shield’ them from reality or ‘avoid temptation’. Right now my son is 2 ½ years old, and I have already started this process. If he doesn’t choose to talk to me about this stuff as a teenager, I will at least know that he does in fact have the information he needs to make good decisions and I hope that I will have the faith needed to trust him to do so whether I am there with him or not.

Some of you may be asking yourself what I could possibly be teaching a toddler about sex. Right now we focus a lot on using proper names for body parts. There are no cutesy nick names here. Not only is this an important part of creating open and trusting communication about these issues but many advocacy groups maintain that children who know the proper names for all their body parts are less likely to be sexually abused in their life time. I am also very careful to take all of my son’s questions seriously and provide clear answers as much as possible. Because I am a labour doula my son has a lot of questions about what I do when I am away and ‘going to help a baby’ just doesn’t seem to cut it all the time so we watch birth videos, we talk about how babies grow in their mother’s uterus which is in their tummy and when the time comes the mother needs lots of love and support as she works really hard to bring baby out. We talk about breastfeeding, about how women have breasts that make milk for their babies and men don’t.

We also talk a lot about personal space. About how we need permission to touch other people and we teach that no means no. We don’t only talk about these things, we practice them. When my son doesn’t want to be picked up, we do not pick him up, when I am feeling too touched out to nurse him, I explain that my body is my own and he can ask me again in a little while. When we play tickle games or any other kind of rough housing we routinely check in with each other to make sure everyone is having fun and when someone says ‘stop’ we stop, no questions asked. This may not seem like sex education to everyone, but I believe that a healthy sex life starts with being empowered and expecting nothing less than respect for your autonomy. And in a culture that tries to tell us that victims invite assault by dressing and acting certain ways I want to make for damn sure my children know that people make decisions for their own bodies and that ‘No’ means ‘No’ even if you're 'just playing', even if 'they said yes before', even if  they 'thought it was part of the game', no.matter.what.

As my son gets older I will continue to answer all of his questions honestly, we will continue to teach him that his body is his own. We will continue to talk about anatomy, not only his own, but also that of the opposite sex. We will talk about gender. We will talk about attraction. We will talk about love. We will talk about health. We will talk about responsibility. We will talk about these things as they come up, not as one sit down serious talk but as a series of discussions over the course of his life. So that when the time comes, and he is faced with decisions he may not feel comfortable coming to us with, he will at least have a lifetime of lessons to draw on to make decisions for himself.

Of course, my plans to educate my own child does not mean that every teenager seeking birth control will have as much information or as much support. Not every parent is equipped or willing to take this kind of proactive approach. So the question remains, even if I’ve prepared MY teenager to make informed decisions about his sexual health, does every teenager possess the awareness and reasoning to make these decisions without a parent’s permission?

That’s a tough question to answer. By and large I don’t think teens are given much credit, we are so filled with dread over stories of rebellious teens and all of the ‘trouble’ we got into when we ourselves were teens that imagining your own child as a teen can be terrifying. But in my experience, teenagers are just people, some are more responsible than others, some are more impulsive than others, but they are all at their core good people. They are not aliens from outer space who speak a totally different language, there is no secret method of management one needs to learn to ‘handle’ them. They are people, on the cusp of being self sufficient and functioning members of society.

If we as a society have not come together to ensure that these kids can make important decisions for themselves by the time they’re getting a drivers license or their first job then we have failed them. End of story. Where some would argue that we need to restrict access to sexual health services until the knowledge fairy comes on a kid’s 18^th birthday to magically implant the wisdom to make informed choices, I would argue that we need to make sure every child in our society is given an honest and comprehensive health education so that when someone asks ‘Does a teenager in your community possess the awareness and reasoning to make decisions about their health’ the answer can always be ‘yes’.

6 Things I Didn't Know About the Flu Until This Week

My family has been hit with the flu. My son spiked a 102 temperature last Tuesday evening and life has not been the same since. I had no idea just how intense the flu could be (or how long it could last). Here's some of what I have learned this week.

1. Some flus make you sick for a long time and that is just normal!

Flus are different than colds in that there is usually almost no build up before you get sick. Colds come on slowly; flus hit you like a freight train. Symptoms last for a full four or five days and often include: chills, headache, muscle aches, dizziness, loss of appetite, tiredness, cough, sore throat, runny nose, nausea or vomiting, and weakness. This can mean that you and/or your child will have a temperature over 100 for multiple days in a row (if it is over 100 for more than three days, however, with no break, it is recommended you call your doctor). After those days, a cough and weakness remain for up to two weeks afterwards. All of this is normal and does not mean anything else is wrong.

2. You are contagious for a long time.

This is where I want all moms to listen up. Unlike most colds and viruses where the common belief is that once the fever is over, you usually aren't very contagious, with flus, you are contagious until all the symptoms end. This means that you stop being contagious when you stop coughing completely. For most healthy adults this is about a week after you catch the flu. If you have a small child with the flu or if someone in your family has asthma (like I do), it means that they might have the cough longer and may be contagious up to two weeks! So, if you suspect your family had the flu, keep everyone at home or make them where masks in public for your brief forays. No one should be inflicted with the hell my family just went through!

3. Cold humidifiers are awesome.

Okay, I knew this before we caught the flu, but I loved already owning them. They do not create hot steam and so are much safer to have around small children. However, they do moisten the air and help open swollen breathing ways just as well as they hot ones do and they seem to last a lot longer than the hot air vaporizers. They are, however, a little more expensive, but I feel like the cost is totally worth it.

4. A flu can make you feel like you are going to die, but there is really nothing a doctor can do for you.

We did not go to the doctor, but I did call mine because I do have asthma and I do know that my son has the genetic possibility of having it one day. (I did not become completely symptomatic until age 14.) I nicknamed this particular flu the "Brown Plague" because it was almost as bad as the "Black Plague," but it wasn't going to kill us. However, here are a list of symptoms that mean you should take your child to the emergency room with the flu: fast breathing or trouble breathing, bluish or gray skin color, not drinking enough fluids, severe or persistent vomiting
not waking up or not interacting, being so irritable that the child does not want to be held, flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and cough. As my 2 1/2 year old, thirty odd pound son did not want to be put down during the entire five days, nursed (and slept) like a new born (up every two hours or so), and only vomited twice (on two very separate days for two separate reasons), I figured he was still healing healthily enough and we avoided the emergency room. This was probably a good thing as I'm not sure my husband or I were really healthy enough to be driving.

5. Elderberry May Kill the Flu

Obviously, I did not know this one at all or I would have had elderberries on hand. Apparently, it is well documented that elderberry kills flu viruses if you take it from the very beginning. This study says that people were "symptom free" after two days! I don't have personal experience, yet, but you can bet your knickers I'm going to be buying elderberry when I get back to the health food store!

6. The Flu Can Have "After" Effects

This is mostly for people with compromised immune systems or weak lungs. If you have asthma and you catch the flu, you can develop a rattle when you breathe like I have and you can develop plugged ears. These are after effects that can lead to serious complications, so you have to take care of them. The Neti Pot can help with both of those, but it is also recommended that you take something to thin the mucus. Mucinex is readily available, but there are more natural alternatives with less weird commercials. However, as a national drug chain is far closer to my house than the health food stores I can use in this area, I cannot tell you with any experience if any of those work. I just started using Mucinex tonight . . . we'll see how it goes.

7. The Flu Can Make You a Better Mom

Okay, so not every minute of the flu makes you a better mom, but I found because I knew that I was crabby already, I was able to be extra careful and not be impatient with my son. Because I wasn't feeling well, I didn't try to get a million things done and I was pretty grateful for what I did manage to do! I also had an easier time forgiving myself and letting myself turn the tide while I was sick because I knew that I was not at my best and so it was easier to forgive and move on. I tried to take snapshots of the good moments when I did get to snuggle a little closer with my usually very independent toddler, and I tried to push the bad moments into the fog of "The Brown Plague." You can survive the flu and be the mom you want to be during it; you just have to be forgiving of those moments when you were sick.

Oh, and it's okay to watch way too much tv when no one can move. Really. It is.

Thanks for reading,

Shawna

Comfort Nursing = Eating Disorder!?

There is this really persistent opinion about comfort nursing that keeps popping up everywhere I go which basically boils down to the notion that nursing your baby or toddler for comfort will teach them bad habits & set them up for life-long obesity.

The logic, as I've heard and understood it from people who hold this opinion, goes something like this:

• Childhood obesity is on the rise. 
• Eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food are prevalent in our society. 
• Emotional eating, or eating for comfort, (or even enjoying food at all it would seem) are 'bad habits' that will make you fat. 
• To prevent obesity we must strictly control our children's food intake to build 'healthy habits'. 
• Comfort nursing is emotional eating and therefore teaching 'unhealthy habits'.

On a whole this kind of logic doesn't really surprise me. Our culture has some pretty screwed up perceptions about food. Unfortunately, those perceptions get projected onto our children and drive us to do some weird things to the way we feed them.

Kind of like the way some parents feel they need or want to force their children into emotional independence before they are ready. They perceive dependence as bad and their infants to be 'needy' or 'whiny' because their own relationships & experiences with trust, reliance and independence are negative or unhealthy.

When it comes to attachment style parenting every parent does things differently, but there are a few very basic roots that apply to all attached parent/child relationships. Mainly that reliably anticipating and meeting the basic needs of our children is essential to a secure attachment. So let's use this as a jumping off point for my logic regarding comfort nursing:

• Needs that are met go away, and needs that go unmet persist, are internalized, then eventually show themselves in other ways. 
• Comfort is a basic need. 
• Breastfeeding is the biological norm for human beings, and left to their own devices, mothers will instinctively put their babies to breast on demand. 
• As a breastfeeding mother, I know that babies and toddlers are pretty demanding and make it very clear when they would like to nurse. They are often most insistent when they are in need of immediate comfort. 
• I would therefore conclude that nursing for comfort is an instinctual and natural coping method for young children in stressful situations.

That's basically my end point. Nursing for comfort is natural. It is what we were meant to do.

Are there other ways to comfort a child? Of coarse there are, and I don't judge anyone who chooses them over comfort nursing in any given moment, but there is also nothing wrong with relying on what is likely the easiest and most effective comfort tool available to breastfeeding mothers. When weaning does happen, the parent child relationship evolves and other forms of comfort are developed. naturally.

With all this in mind, I think it is safe to say that comfort nursing your baby or toddler will not give them an eating disorder any more then rocking them to sleep every night will give them insomnia, or wearing them in a carrier will limit their ability to walk.

What's more, I can think of at least 10 very important and practical reasons to go ahead and let your child nurse for comfort and ignore anyone who tries to tell you you're doing something wrong.

1) As mentioned above, nursing for comfort is the natural way for human children to cope with stress.

2) The act of breastfeeding releases hormones that help YOU relax in a stressful situation.

3) Nursing on demand whether for food or comfort helps to maintain adequate milk supply for your child's growing needs.

4) Comfort nursing gives you a moment or so of quiet to determine possible causes and solutions to the problem that needs comforting (especially handy when tantrum-y toddlers have you at your wits end!)

5) Frequent nursing for food or for comfort helps to prevent and alleviate issues such as: leaking, engorgement, plugged ducts, and mastitis.

6) frequent on demand nursing for food or comfort helps strengthen parent child attachment. Which has been shown to have many benefits for the child's health and well being.

7) Nursing for comfort is sometimes the only chance you'll have in a day to snuggle a busy on the go baby or toddler.

8) Comfort nursing reduces the likelihood of further tantrums or melt downs by giving your child a shot of nutrient dense milk to take the edge off their thirst or hunger and maintain healthy blood sugar levels.

9) Frequent on demand nursing for food or comfort lowers your child's risk of dehydration. Particularly in hot seasons/climates, during illness, or during a long and busy day when it's easy to forget to rehydrate often.

10) Frequent on demand nursing for food or comfort can delay the return of your menstrual cycle!!

Kid's Kitchen: A Cook Book Review

My niece, Celeste, aged 9, is everything you could ever ask for in a kid, she is outgoing, curious, smart, funny, curious, ambitious, and did I mention curious? 

Being Celeste's aunt prepared me in many ways for parenthood. She taught me that babies don't always sleep the way you see in the movies, that 4 year olds really DO hear EVERYTHING you say (and repeat it at daycare), and that being bored can always be remedied by making a big huge mess in the name of experimentation. Like the time she decided to see what would happen to the soapy bubbles in her bath if she turned on the jacuzzi jets & filled my parent's entire bathroom with suds. 

There have been a lot of big changes in Celeste's life in the last two years. Oliver, and Celeste's little brother, Charlie, were born within just two months of each other, and while she loves them both and is an amazing big sister and play mate, the boys often mean that our time together when I babysit is spent baby wrangling and not getting into trouble like we used to.

That's why when I saw Kid's Kitchen: 40 Fun and Healthy Recipes to Make and Share from Barefoot Books, I knew that it would make the perfect project for Celeste and I to do together. I set up a play date at which there would be helpers to distract the boys, and promised that we would have some fun together. 

The Kids Kitchen cook book is actually not a book at all. It is a set of bright and flashy colour coded recipe cards that come in a great box with a flip lid. The first few cards explain about the different food groups and  the different kinds of nutrients we get from our diet. 

I love that this information is included and presented in such a clear and fun way. It's a good feature for kids learning about nutrition, and a great reminder for health conscious parents. 

I had originally planned to let Celeste go through all of the recipes and pick one or two for us to make together, but when I saw a card proclaiming 'Specked Vanilla Ice Cream' I knew I didn't even have to ask. Of coarse we were going to make our own ice cream!

Our kitchen date was also scheduled for the same day that a local church was holding their annual Strawberry fair fundraiser, so our second recipe choice was 'Fruity Faces'. The recipe card calls for dried apricots, but we went with fresh strawberries instead and it worked out beautifully!

I really liked that the recipe cards all include a list of items, as well as ingredients that you will need to have ready to make the dish. I really REALLY liked this feature, I am that person who gets half way through making mashed potatoes without realizing she doesn't own a potato masher. 

I had Celeste read each ingredient and step out loud as we went. The instructions were all clear and very easy to follow, except for the measurements being in Imperial. 

Both Celeste and I are Canadians who learned basic math skills after the 1970's. We are most comfortable using the metric system, and all of our ingredients and measuring tools are marked in metric, a recipe calling for 1.5 ounces of dark chocolate totally blew our minds. 

How's this for a math problem?:

If you have a 170 gram package of dark chocolate in 6 cubed pieces, how many pieces of chocolate do you need to make 1.5 ounces?

Luckily both of the recipes we used were super forgiving and both turned out very well despite my less then stellar math skills, and Celeste got to learn about unit conversion. 

 We also learned that a custard won't thicken smoothly if you accidentally let it boil while you are sneaking chocolate chips, that chocolate dipping strawberries and adding white chocolate chip faces is a fine art that only a nine year old can truly master, that separating egg yolks is harder then it looks, and that fresh vanilla beans make things taste and smell about a million times better then artificial vanilla. 

When our dish was finished, I could only snap a few quick photos as the pack moved in to feed. 

 Cooking with kids is a great way to encourage healthy eating, (or in this case, eating deserts with fresh and wholesome ingredients) and a good way to teach a number of valuable lessons in a practical setting. But more then that I have to say that cooking with kids is just FUN. 

Even though I am someone who really enjoys cooking, I find that too much of the time I am rushing through my routine making dishes I've made a dozen times before just trying to get it done so I can move on to the next thing on my list. 

My afternoon cooking with Celeste reminded me of all the things I love about cooking, about trying new things and experimenting in the kitchen. It reminded me what it was like to cook for the fun of it without knowing exactly how it will turn out or if you're going to like it, and not caring one way or another. More so then that, Celeste's pride in what we made and the enjoyment she got from watching everyone else enjoy her creations reminded me to put the love back in my kitchen and really cook to nourish my family body and soul. 

If you would like the chance to win Kid's Kitchen, or any other book of your choice from the Barefoot Books online catalogue, please visit our giveaway! You can even get an extra bonus entry by completing the following step:

Post a picture of your family cooking or eating together on The Connected Mom Facebook wall, then leave a comment on THIS POST telling us that you have completed this step!

The Childhood Obesity `Epidemic`

I am going to start this post (a rather ranty post, so I apologize in advance) by getting something off my chest.

Hearing people talk about the so-called "obesity epidemic" (teh fatz it iz contagious!1!) makes me want to stab myself in the ear.

But I am going to talk about it for the next few hundred words or so, and while I am not going to be happy about it, I think there are some rather important things that need to be said on the subject.

All the fear and anxiety surrounding child obesity rates in North America may not be unfounded, or even exaggerated. According to this article I read a few years back, one in four Canadian children are overweight or obese. Even when we keep in mind that the relationship between weight and health varies greatly from person to person, these numbers look pretty scary. This fear puts a lot of pressure on parents to do all sorts of things, and sends them reeling through endless amounts of often conflicting information.

• Let them snack/don't let them snack. 
• Put them in sports/encourage more free play. 
• Feed on demand/feed on a schedule. 
• Make them eat what is on their plates/don't force the issue. 
• Don't ever turn on a TV or video game/encourage limited screen time to teach moderation. 
• Don't let them eat foods x,y,z/make sure they get lots of foods x,y,z!

No one wants their children to be unhealthy, and no one wants to deal with, or have their children deal with, the stigma that comes from being over weight in a society which views fat as a disease, an 'epidemic'.

I don't blame people for being afraid. Making decisions that could effect your children's future health should not be taken lightly, and anxiety over getting the 'right' answer is only natural when people are throwing around words like heart disease, cancer, and diabetes.

By all means, please take steps, if you can, to ensure that your child has access to healthy and wholesome foods. Research and talk to your family's health care provider about nutrition. Encourage your children to be active, and make physical activity a part of your family routine.

But don't be fooled by all the parent shaming buzz out there that would have you believe that the 'obesity epidemic' is all YOUR fault. That parents are the only ones to blame for the deteriorating over-all health (Obesity is only ONE health issue facing our children) of the next generation.

This hype is counter productive. It forces parents into reactionary and fear based approaches that take away from the amount and value of time families have together by creating power struggles and passing un-needed stress an anxiety on to young children. What's more it makes it that much easier for us all to forget about the real roots of these problems.

Our children are unhealthy because our culture is unhealthy!

On an individual level you may be able improve your child's lifetime health and reduce their risk of suffering from certain health conditions. But on a whole, shaming parents into being hyper-vigilant about nutrition and food intake, and anxious to the point of obsession with their children's activity level (or seeking pharmaceutical `cures`) is NOT the answer to the very serious public health issues facing our children.

I believe the answers to public health issues need to be addressed by everyone in our society.

We need to evaluate the messages we and our children are receiving about health and food from their schools, friends, and the media.

We need to address the fact that family friendly and easily accessible green spaces are becoming fewer and further between in urban centers, encouraging more families to spend more time in doors and 'plugged in' for entertainment.

We need to evaluate the intricate systems in place that make processed junk food more accessible then health food for many families, and find workable solutions to make sure that ALL families have access to fresh, safe, and nutritious foods.

We need to recognize that the products we use and manufacture with little forethought or safety testing now will have far reaching effects on the health and well being of future generations.

We need to address the marketing frenzies of companies that try to muddy the waters by making phony health claims about their processed convenience foods.

We need to make accurate and unbiased (meaning not sponsored by nestle) health and nutrition information more available to the general public.

We need to do more to ensure that products are clearly labeled so that families can make informed choices about the items in their shopping carts.

We need to think about the accessibility of fitness programs and sports activities, and perhaps think about how we could lessen the impact of modern sedentary desk work.

We need to stop subsidizing industries that create processed foods and chemicals that are bad for our health.

We need to start funding our public schools.

We need to stop scaring and shaming parents, and more importantly, we need to STOP scaring and shaming kids. Because families are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to health.