Monday, February 25, 2013

Liking vs. Loving my Spirited Child

I had another post in the works for today, but I'm putting it aside for later. Instead I have something I have to get out, something I have to confess, so it can stop weighing on me. I'm going to be so honest here, and I'm a little afraid of it. It's hard to admit your own shortcomings, and maybe even harder to admit ugly feelings because they seem to speak even more to who you are inside.

I remember that Gwen seemed to hit certain emotional developmental milestones early. Around 20 months, and definitely by 22, I stared getting a preview of the fun that was the "terrible twos." The threes, I've said it before, have been described to me as "two, with intent." She hit that early too. So while she's only been 3 for a bit over a week, this attitude has been here for a bit, and I'm over it already.

Guys, I'm just going to say it. I love Gwen, with all my heart, she fills me with love and a simple hug from her is a balm to me... but frankly, there are times lately that I don't like her. When she completely ignores my requests. The time she told me to shut up. When she whines, constantly. When she throws a fit because I ask her to do something so unreasonable like clean up toys that she's strewn around the living room when she's done playing with them, or take a single bite of something that she begged me to make her to eat.

I am loathe to ever wish time with her away, but I find myself wishing for bedtime, wishing for 4!

Now there are great parts to this age as well, and I am so grateful for those. However, she just seems so much better at pushing my buttons now, no matter how many loving boundaries I give her, and this has brought out a side of me that I don't like. My carefully cultivated patience has gone out the window, and I suddenly feel like a newly unfrozen Austin Powers ("I can't seem to CONTROL the sound of my VOISE!").

So here's where I ask for your help gentle readers: What's your secret for hitting the reset button? Yoga helps me, but since I can only go once a week, I need something to help me get my mama mojo back the other 6 days of the week. I don't chose my daughter's actions, but I can change and chose my reactions.

Help me reset our off balance relationship, so I can like my daughter as much as I love her again... and survive this crazy age.

Editor's Note: I wrote this yesterday, while sitting in the car with a napping Gwen. We'd had a morning full of butting heads. We went on to have a wonderful afternoon together. Thank goodness. Then we butted heads at bedtime. ::sigh::  We went on to end the night nicely, but this is how our days have been going.


Laurel Nakai said... [Reply to comment]

ooh man, I've been there! still am sometimes...Three is so hard! The whining really gets me in particular. I came up with a solution for the whining that has been working wonders lately. Whenever my son whines, he wakes up the "tickle monster", (he'll get a growl as a warning), and if he keeps whining the tickle monster comes and tickles all the whines out of him! He actually enjoys this so we end up laughing and playing, but the little growl really does work as a warning too, he will often stop and then ask for something politely without the whine. Oh yeah....and lots of coffee and chocolate. Good luck!

Meegs said... [Reply to comment]

@Laurel Nakai Oh Laurel, I LOVE the tickle monster idea!! I'll have to try that!

Shawna said... [Reply to comment]

We've been going in and out of this since Owen turned 3, too. Some days are better than others. There are great parts of three, but there are definitely challenges.

sassyshell said... [Reply to comment]

Hang in there! I have no brilliant advice, my girl is 3 and a quarter right now and some times the tantruming and whining just kill me. Yoga also helps me but I can't get there often enough. I am trying to remember to breathe and step away, step outside for some fresh air, somehow change the dynamic when these things happen. Good luck! Keep at it, you are doing great! :)

Post a Comment