Everyone has to parent the way that rings true for them. The way that tells their Mama heart that they are doing what is best for their baby. I'm an AP mama for that very reason. Gwen thrives in that hands on, child-focused style; and it emphasizes the things that I love about her and for her (independence, respect vs. obedience).
When Gwen grows up, I want her to say
... that she always had a voice and that voice always meant something.
... that her Daddy and I were there whenever she needed an ear, and that she felt comfortable telling us what was on her mind and in her heart.
... that expectations were straight forward and obtainable.
... that if the answer was No, she always knew why.
... that she didn't get everything she wanted, but that she had everything she needed, plus some.
... that compassion and a consciousness of others and our surroundings were important from an early age.
... that she was appreciated and valued.
... that there was never a doubt in her heart that her mama loved her and was there for her. Period.