milestones and reconnecting

This past weekend, Gwen had a bit of an adventure. For the first time she slept away from home without her father or me, her very first sleepover. Trav and I had a wedding to attend, and as it was very close to her grandparents' house, the easiest thing for all of us was to have Gwen sleep there. She was so excited for a sleepover with her Nonnie; Trav and I were so excited for a fun night together, and a chance for a bit of sleeping in!

It was surreal, driving away from my parents place. My preschooler was a baby just yesterday, and here she is, having her first sleep away. It was only for a night, but it was a milestone nonetheless.

Now, we are starting our week of vacation. Today is the beginning of our 3 days of camping, something I am so looking forward to. Life gets so busy and hectic sometimes. Its so easy to get caught up in the routine of the everyday, and let it all just slip by. We wake up, we get ready, we're off to school and work, we come home, make dinner, have bath time half the days, maybe have time for a brief play or some yoga, then its time to get ready for bed. A few precious hours of sleep and its time to do it all again. We get as much together time in there as possible, liberally sprinkle all waking hours with hugs and kisses and I love yous, but it isn't enough sometimes.

I'm so looking forward to the next 3-days as a way to relax and reconnect as a family. 3 days of enjoying nature, being outside (which we all love), hiking, cooking over a campfire, without the normal interruptions of school/work, chores, or technology. There will be no laundry, no dishes, no vacuuming. There will be no TV, no videos, no kindle, no computer. The iPhone will be there, but turned off in the car, in case of emergency only. We will sleep side-by-side, in our sleeping bags, under the moonlight. We will listen to the sound of the woods, and the rushing of waterfalls. We will make our fingers gooey with s'mores, then rinse them in the stream. We will hike until we are tired and sore, looking at all the beauty that the environment displays to us, then sleep deeply, satisfied. We will do it all together, without the normal distractions from each other.

Gwen is growing and changing everyday. I know these times are fleeting. This chance to reconnect is so cherished.

How do you reconnect when you feel like daily life is getting too distracting?

10 Days in the Loony Bin--or, Spring Break 2013

Ah, spring break. For NYC public school kids,  it's an unusually long one this year. Seven whole school days off.

As with any major break, I made a plan for what we were doing each day. This way we make the most of the break and we don't spend too much time idle, which starts to drive us all crazy after a while. We are in the middle of our spring break right now, except we haven't done anything on our itinerary, because my two older kids are sick, and the little one has consistent diarrhea (yum. Aren't you glad you're reading this?). No one is seriously ill, just low grade fevers and yucky cold symptoms. But it's enough to keep us quarantined for a few days.

When you're stuck inside with three sick kids, you can get tunnel vision and forget that life exists outside of what's happening right now (which for us thus far has been: fever. Barf. Sneezing. Coughing. Diarrhea. Repeat). I'm all for a little "mommy needs a cocktail" humor, but as I've found myself actually needing a cocktail the last few days, I've decided that I need to change my outlook and my attitude. And I've realized there are many reasons that I'm grateful to be stuck inside with my sick kiddos.

For one, we are getting to spend an inordinate amount of time together. There are tough moments throughout the day, but I genuinely miss my two older kids when they're in school, and it's been so nice to have them at home. They're funny, smart, and endearing, and the days are never dull when they're around. The wonderful way they play together makes up for the amount of fights I have to break up between them. I love hearing them play on their own, too--just yesterday there was about an hour where they were each completely engrossed on their own made up worlds, playing separate imaginative games.

It's also been great not having to run around anywhere. None of our regular classes are running because of the break anyway, but we had social engagements scheduled that would have definitely necessitated that we be up and out the door at a certain time. We have an incredible amount of activities during the school week. In my quest to enrich my children's lives, I run the risk of doing too much. Sometimes it seems as if we never stop running. Much as we love our friends and activities, it's been a relief not having to *be* anywhere but here this week.

The baby has diarrhea, yes--but at least she's still safely in the land of diapers, which means that I don't have to do much except change her. OK, I have to change her three times an hour, but the other plus is that since she's in cloth diapers, all I have to do is wash them--no running to the store for more disposables. Bonus!

When life gives us lemons, we make crafts. We have a whole host of crafting activities that we've been saving for a rainy day, and now we have a week of rainy days! Both the older kids adore crafts and they're always so proud of their creations.

Since I don't have to rush around in the morning, I've shaved my legs twice this week! Yes--my legs do not resemble those of a grizzly bear's. You may not care, but I assure you my husband does. (The older kids watched a show this morning and V hung in the bathroom with me while I showered. Judge me, I don't care. My legs are smooth).

Being home, I've had a chance to do some self-evaluation. The last few months have been a challenge, and admittedly, I haven't been handling the adversity well (see cocktail comment above). I've had plenty of time to think and regroup. Things aren't going to get easier. I just have to adjust my expectations, my reactions and parent my children with love, respect, and remain connected to them, even when things are running amok. I'm grateful to have had the restful time I've needed to make those realizations. There's still a whole week of the break left. I'm still in good health, and will hopefully remain that way--though now that I've pointed it out, I will probably get the plague tomorrow.

If I don't, however, this means that we have plenty of time to get out of the house, see our friends, and go to the park. And when the crazy hustle and bustle starts again next week, I know I will miss these few days when we just hung around and did nothing.

Because sometimes, we need to do just that.

Circle+Bloom's Natural Cycle for Fertility

Having tried to get and stay pregnant for three years, I had tried things all over the map.  From charting to not charting, from relaxation to actually trying, from acupuncture to seeing a doctor and having 8 ultrasounds in 8 weeks.  My energy has gotten better with different things, but nothing has had that "edge" that I have been looking for.  Nothing was really working to keep me pregnant.  And the stress of it was getting worse every cycle.

A few of my friends in the infertility circle had tried Circle+Bloom's meditation tracks and absolutely raved about them.  A few got pregnant and stayed pregnant, a few didn't but still swore by the program.

I was at the point where it didn't matter what I would try, I wasn't so much trying to get pregnant, but relax and release the stress I was building up with each day and cycle that passed.

Circle+Bloom has been absolutely amazing and sent me the download to their Natural Cycle for Fertility Program.  I was already on cycle day 19, but that didn't matter.  Their tracks are made so you can listen to and start on the day you are on, you don't have to wait for a new cycle, which is a huge plus since you never know when you need to start listening and waiting for another cycle can be stressful in and of itself.

The first time I listened to one of the tracks, my best friend and I were at acupuncture.  I put the track on my Kindle and made it loud enough for both of us to listen since she is trying to get pregnant also, and I wanted her opinion on it.

The beginning of all the tracks start with relaxing.  I am still amazed, even after doing this for 5 days, that I can get to such an incredible state of relaxation within minutes.  Except that first day, I have done them all right before bed so I can relax the day away and get ready to fall asleep.  Each track is about 15 minutes long, so enough time to relax without staying up too late, and then because you are so relaxed, it is easy to shut off the track and fall asleep.

I have a lot of trouble trusting my body after what I have been through, and the day 19 track talked about how negative thoughts and feelings won't hurt your baby, but keeping those thoughts and feelings in will cause stress which isn't good for trying to get pregnant and while pregnant.  Everyone always tells me to think positively, and to let go of the negative energy, which is great advice, but after six losses and three years of trying, it is so much harder to do than they believe.  Having a mind body connection knowing that my negative thoughts on my body won't hurt the growing egg was absolutely invaluable.  It was so refreshing to know that it is okay to be worried and scared.

Another one of the best days was one completely concentrated on my circulatory system and getting fresh oxygenated blood to my uterus and growing baby.  When you concentrate on certain parts of your body, you can feel them getting stronger, and for myself, they feel energized.

For fifteen minutes a day, I was able to relax deeply, focus just on myself, and work with my body rather than against it.  I was able to feel focused and exhilarated after just the fifteen minutes.

I'm still in the two week wait, but already this cycle is so much different than the others.  I am more relaxed, I am listening to my body more, and I am able to let the stresses wash away better.  I am still worried about getting and staying pregnant, but that is something that I need to work on for more than 15 minutes a day, and slowly I am getting there.  I do think that the meditation tracks are working, and that in and of itself is huge.  I have a lot of fear to let go of, and anything that helps is amazing in my book.

This program is $59.00 for the download right to your computer, and $69.00 for the CDs sent to you.  It does feel a little bit pricey, but considering how much money a lot of people spend on Ovulation Prediction Tests, Pregnancy Tests, and other trying to conceive products, this is just one more expense, and one I believe is so much more worth it than other things you can buy.

There is nothing like the feeling you will get when you listen to this program, and the relaxation is just one part.  The Mind-Body connection is so powerful and using that while trying to get pregnant can be invaluable.

I received the Circle+Bloom Natural Cycle for Fertility Program to review, no other compensation was given, and the views expressed are my own.