Planning the Family Meals

I still remember the first food shopping trip I took when I moved in with my now husband. It was our first time living without our parents, and we spent over $200 and bought everything and anything. I don't remember what we bought, but I remember the feeling of excitement and promise, the awesome fact that we could buy and prepare whatever food we wanted, for the first time ever!

Fast forward a few years. With us working full-time, demanding jobs, our meal times consisted of whatever was quickest. I bought pretty much the same food every week, and I can't tell you how much stuff I ended up throwing out over the course of a couple of years--meat that had been in the freezer for months, rotting fruit and vegetables, and stale bread.

At some point, right before I got pregnant with my first child, I realized that we had to make a change in the way we ate. We started with wholesome, non-processed ingredients. We brought healthy lunches to work instead of going to the local eateries. We were on a good road, but once we threw children into the mix eating mindfully and healthily became more of a challenge.

I needed to make a change, and so I decided to start planning my family's meals--dinner especially. I plan my meals for a week and then I shop accordingly. I've done this now for over five years, and it has made such an immense difference in all of our lives. For one, absolutely nothing goes bad or goes to waste, since I only buy whatever I need for what I'm cooking. Second, I'm not left scrambling to throw something together at 6:30; having a plan ensures that we are getting a good meal every single day.

I don't use a website for help, but I write down each meal and the day I'm going to make it, and put the list on the fridge. Since we run around a lot during the week, I plan my meals around whatever each day's activities are. For example, on the days where we have after school activities, I make a stew, casserole, lasagna, or something in the slow cooker (basically anything that can be made ahead of time), so that when we get home we can get straight to eating.

I make the meal schedule flexible so that if something changes, I can easily swap out meals from one day to the next. Sometimes things come up and I'm unable to cook, or we eat out unexpectedly, so I adjust the schedule and often carry meals from one week to the next. So that things don't go bad, I look at my meals and make the ones that use fresh produce first, so that I'm not stuck with rotting food in the fridge. And if there's a meal that requires advance preparation, like marinating or defrosting, I will make a note for myself on my meal schedule list. I look at my meal schedule every morning, and take out meat to defrost, if any.

To keep things a little simple, I make every Wednesday roast chicken night. I roast a chicken with some variation, with a different side every week. This is the kids' favorite meal--especially the crispy chicken skin. I save the bones and any leftover chicken meat and make a mean chicken soup, either later in the week or the week after. Our favorite is chicken soup with celery, carrots, and egg noodles. We have breakfast for dinner every other Thursday (also another favorite). I make gluten free waffles or pancakes, sometimes with home potatoes or bacon, and sometimes a frittata. Once I find a good gluten free pizza crust recipe, I'm going to incorporate a pizza night into our week, as well.


It takes me around an hour to meal plan and shop for groceries. I shop for my groceries at Costco, where I buy most of our staples like milk, cereal, sugar, snacks, etc., and also on FreshDirect.com, a grocery delivery service in NYC. The online service really helps in terms of managing my time, because it takes a lot less time than going to a supermarket would. That's not to say I don't shop in grocery stores and supermarkets. And I can't wait for my local farmers market, which starts in June.

Planning meals is about more than just convenience. I'm in the middle of reading "French Kids Eat Everything," and learning about how the French view food and mealtimes has re-inspired me to let my kids help me out in the kitchen, for more than just baking cookies. Two nights ago Sofia helped me make Asian-style shrimp with rice noodles and not only did she want to try every single thing as we were making it, once we sat down to eat, she finished every bite and declared the meal the best she's ever had. I love the stress that planning ahead alleviates for me and I love that I can take the extra time to spend in the kitchen with my children.

Does your family plan their meals ahead of time? If not, are you inspired to start?

real mom confessions

My good friend and momspiration, Elise, recently did a post on her True Confessions. They were great. So honest, and so damn spot on! So, here are my real mom confessions:

Source

1. I consider it a parenting success that my daughter loves Edward Sharpe and the Magnificent Zeros, and calls Home "her song." Similarly, I was a little annoyed when she loved a CD of kitschy children's songs we were gifted (don't worry, I didn't share my annoyance with her!).

2. I do my best to get Gwen to eat a good variety of foods... but nights are rushed to begin with, so if she's begging for pasta, again, sometimes its just easier to eat pasta. Again. But we always have a fruit or veggie too.

3. I love spending time with my daughter, love playing games with her, but when she breaks out the blocks, I pray she asks her dad to help instead of me. I can only "build another house, Mommy" so many times before I just don't want to build another house! I've also hidden books once or twice after we read them 20 times in a row.

4. My husband is much better at the crafting stuff then me too. I'm a little terrified of the mess it would create if we pulled out paint together. 

5. Being married after having a baby(s) is hard. I love my husband, but parenting together is the hardest thing we've ever done.

6. I save way too many of those scribbley pictures that she brings home from daycare.

7. If its a choice between cleaning the house or playing with my girl, I will always chose the later. Yes, my house is messy.

8. I hate hearing that she gave my husband a hard time on a night that I'm out (for work or yoga), but part of me loves hearing how much she missed me. She gets bigger every day, its nice to be needed. And yes, I need those nights to do "me things" too. I don't feel guilty about that.

9. That whiny voice makes me want to pull my hair out.

10. I hope that we can be as close as we are now when she is 16 and beyond. I will always be the mom first, but that doesn't mean I can't want to be a confidant, an enjoyed companion, and yes, a friend, as well.


What are your mom confessions?

The Irony of Natural Living

Green, natural and holistic living are things that are very important to my family. These mean different things for different people, but for us, it means, among other things, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, alternative medicine, pesticide free and organic eating, and chemical free cleaning, toys, and personal care.

Since "natural living" is now a trend, there seems to be no shortage of "green," "holistic," and "natural" foods and products on the market. That's no surprise--our consumerist society ensures that if there is a demand, manufacturers will supply. What is startling is just how much it can cost to "live naturally;" which seems counter intuitive, since one of the general ideas of living naturally is to use less; and one would think that natural products, whether they be toys, cosmetics, or cleaning products, since they are more straightforward in their contents, would be cheaper. Right? Wrong.

Before I begin, let me say that I'm in no way criticizing anyone who buys these products. After all, I've bought or buy many of them myself. I'm not denying that many of these things enhance my life or make certain aspects more entertaining and enjoyable, but if I'm looking at need vs. want, and I'm being really honest with myself, the vast majority fall into the want category.

This is a commentary on the consumerist trap that we seem to fall into despite our best efforts. Sometimes it feels like we're being brainwashed to think that we absolutely need all these different products as if our survival or happiness depends on it. Buy what you will, but do it because you want to, not because someone out there has convinced you that you cannot do without it.  It's also a commentary on the obscene mark ups on natural products and organic food. 

Speaking of food, it seems incredibly unfair that the organic stuff costs so much more than its conventional counterpart, almost every time. Just last week, I purchased organic frozen peas for $2.99 (10 oz box). That's a whole dollar more than the regular frozen peas. I paid $4.50 for one, one, organic red bell pepper.

I read a factual, sobering article on GMOs this past week, and it couldn't have come at a worse time for me. The new year has brought with it a need and a desire for our household to budget--and unfortunately that includes buying less organic food, because it's simply not feasible 100% of the time for our large family. We polish off things like grapes, apples, and berries at record speed around here. The unfair pricing of organic food seems even more unfair to me now, since eating organic is the number one way to reduce your consumption of GMOs.

As for personal care, a bottle of Burt's Bees Baby Wash will set me back $9.99 (and believe me, I know that Burt's Bees is not even the most natural wash out there). If I wanted to go really natural, California Baby would cost me a whopping $19.99 (for less ounces than the Burt's Bees).

When it comes to natural cleaners, I've found that the more natural they claim to be, the more they cost. I have a few favorite brands, but oftentimes my budget doesn't allow me the luxury of buying them. I ran out of dish washing liquid and I got one the natural brands at my local grocery store that cost me a ridiculous (overpriced) $4.99. That 99 cent container of bright orange Joy looks really appealing in those moments. Laundry detergent is also pricey, and with a family of five, those costs can really add up.

So what's a natural living gal to do? Well, a few things. First, I've limited my organic food purchases to the Dirty Dozen (for the most part, unless there is a really good sale on something organic that isn't on the list). This makes me incredibly sad, but it's the only way we can continue to eat healthily and not dip into our kids' college funds to pay our grocery bill (I jest. Mostly.).

I've also started shopping in bulk. I apologize, Mother Earth, but as there are four people using our commode (and will be five in a couple years' time), I simply cannot justify spending more than a dollar on a *single* roll of recycled toilet paper (which, I might add, is not the softest stuff around. No fluffy bouncing little bear on that packaging). I bought a huge bag of toilet paper from Costco that worked out to something like 30 cents a roll. Also at Costco are organic apples, organic carrots, and organic whole chickens. Who knew? They also have their own brand of organic pantry and canned items (a 9 pack of organic chopped tomato cans for around $6!!).

I make as much of what we use as I can from scratch, from food to cleaners. As I talked about here, DIY cleaning products are dirt cheap and so easy to make. There are certain things, like dish washing liquid and laundry detergent, that I won't make on my own because I find that they don't clean as well as the manufactured stuff, but maybe it's just a matter of finding the right formula. I will keep looking! Making most of my own every day cleaners allows me to have the budget to splurge on the good stuff for my dishes and clothes (imagine--being able to use products not loaded with carcinogens is a "splurge!" Oh, the irony...). The Naturally Clean Home is a great book with 150 recipes for green cleaning.

As a family, we are consuming less. Not food, but everything else. We were once again blessed to have a happy, healthy, and bountiful holiday season. We all gave and received lovely gifts. And now, that's done. We've limited material purchases to must-have only (with an occasional blip here and there, we are human, after all!), and instead are focusing on things we can do. We've also made a commitment to purchasing and consuming less for subsequent holidays and birthdays. For me, having a budget has actually allowed me to become more creative and I'm rather enjoying coming up with ways to have a great time while being thriftier.

I didn't touch on toys above, but I adore cloth and wooden toys for my children. I do not adore their prices. It is an exercise in restraint and self control to go for the one nice toxin-free wooden toy than the five lead-laden made-in-China-ones. I took out my middle daughter's beautiful wooden toys from storage (which my youngest daughter is now using), and felt a great sense of satisfaction that though they are few, they are lovely and useful. I'm not against plastic toys and will certainly purchase them at some point. But I'm going for quality vs. quantity. 

Finally, I shop at discount retailers online. As much as I love going local and do so whenever I can, the online retailers really have the advantage on this one. Sites like Vitacost and Oompa Toys are instrumental in my being able to continue providing my family with products that aren't filled with chemicals and toxins.

These are a few of the things that have made a difference for my family. How do you live the natural life on a budget?

"French Kids Eat Everything," and now my kids do, too

If you know me well, you know that much of my life revolves around food. Not only do I love eating food, I love preparing it, I love cooking it, baking it, and thinking about it. I plan my week's meals ahead of time, and I buy groceries according to what I'm cooking that week. If there's a holiday coming up, watch out--cookies and other baked goods leave my kitchen with stupendous speed. I love planning holiday meals and meals for special occasions. I make 95% of what we eat from scratch; and I'm damn proud of it. I buy local and organic as much as possible, and love cooking and mastering different cuisines.

This is why it's so difficult for me to admit my dirty little secret: up until two weeks ago, my kids didn't eat dinner with my husband and I. As in, not at the same time, and not the same meal.

This isn't the case for any other meals. We eat breakfast together, and there are no special or separate orders prepared. Lunch is a freebie--we eat what we want, unless we go out or unless I'm making something special. Our snacks are pretty much universal--having next to zero processed food in our house means we all munch on fruit, nuts, and the like. So why the dinner disconnect?

My son was a really picky eater (still is). I learned pretty quickly that it was easier to serve up chicken nuggets (organic ones with whole wheat breadcrumbs!) or pizza (Amy's Organic! I swear!), or pasta with sauce (organic too!) rather than fight with him about eating what I was serving up for my husband and I. I was insanely neurotic about my son going hungry--I figured through giving him what he liked, at least he would eat, and then eventually he would join us in our meals.

With my middle daughter, I was determined make a change. I made all her baby food and started feeding her "table food" as soon as she would have it. However, eventually I fell into the same trap I did with my son. The "kid meals" were easier; faster; and my children loved sitting and eating together. My kids would eat dinner around 5:30; my husband and I, 6:30 or later. I reasoned that this made sense because I didn't want them eating too close to their milk and bedtime. I didn't want them going hungry, waiting for my husband and I to eat. This was a good thing. Until it wasn't.

Inevitably, the food battles with my daughter began around age 3, as they had with my son. This made me realize that food battles are not about food, but about control. Whereas my daughter was eating eclectic meals just weeks before, now she was turning her nose up at seemingly everything. We began arguing at every sit down meal.

After a year of my kids rotating through the same four things for dinner, I finally had enough this past Christmas. Faced with another round of holidays where our children would not join in the family feast, I decided that was it. I didn't make a huge deal about it, but I told my kids that there was not going to be any more frozen pizza, frozen chicken, grilled cheese sandwiches, or pasta with sauce and cheese (unless it was what we were all planning on eating).

You know what? This was one of the easiest transitions I have ever made with my children. It's amazing how, when there are no other options, the kids will just eat what's there! They don't always finish, and that's ok, but they are ingesting things I never thought would be possible.

You may be reading this and laughing, or thinking "No duh, genius," but if you aren't, I have some good tips for you that are working for us. I recently came across a blog post about a book called "French Kids Eat Everything," and though I haven't read the book yet (it's on my reading list!), in it there is a list of ten unwritten French rules on eating with children that I think are fantastic. If I may pat myself on the back here, I'm happy to say that once we started the family dinner meal, we used all of these rules before we knew they existed. Once again, you may be thinking that this is simply common sense and what's the big deal? But if you're not, here are the rules, and my take on each.

1. Parents: YOU are in charge of food education! This is absolutely true, and something we take very seriously in our home. We talk about food a lot, where it comes from, how it's prepared, and when our local farmer's market starts up, we attend as a family as much as possible. I know that when my kids get older they'll eat stuff that's bad, but as long as what they eat is under my control, I will work as hard as I can to influence them in a positive way. Growing up, my mom cooked simple, delicious meals with wholesome ingredients, and though I went through a heavy McDonald's phase in my late teens and early twenties, my mom's way of cooking and treating food was instrumental in the way I feel about food and eating, and what ultimately brought me back from the Dark Side.

2. Avoid emotional eating: No food rewards or bribes. This is difficult, but ultimately is for the best. I use food as a reward or a bribe only when everything else in my arsenal is exhausted. I've started offering a cookie not as a bribe, but more as something to look forward to once the meal is finished. I've also started avoiding saying, "If you don't finish your dinner, you're not getting a cookie, etc." It's helping a lot, and the kids eat simply because its time to eat!

3. Parents schedule meals and menus, and kids eat what adults eat. Hooray! This is one I'm most proud of, and while I've done the meal planning for years, we are finally eating the same food! Someone give me a cookie!

4. Eat family meals together. Probably my favorite part of this transition, I love sitting down with everyone, kids included. The mealtime conversations we are having are wonderful. As for my youngest daughter, we've started giving her tiny morsels of whatever we are eating, at every meal. She's fallen into place, just like that! It's ok if this means that the kids go to bed a bit later some nights. Family meal time is so much more important.

5. Eat your veggies (think variety). We are all about the vegetables here. At least one veggie accompanies every meal, and I love to cook vegetarian and vegan meals. I'm so excited to share these with the kids.

6. You don't have to like it, but you have to taste it. This is exactly what it sounds like. We put every component of our meal on our kids' plates, and they have to try it before they say they don't want it. They both tried and loved red bell peppers. They tried and hated fingerling potatoes. Next week I'm making cauliflower!

7. No snacking! It's ok to feel hungry between meals. This is absolutely true in the hour or two before dinner, but if we are out and about and not planning to eat until we get home, you can bet the snacks are out in full swing, especially if we have to wait somewhere or have a long ride ahead of us. I'm not sure if the book is nixing all snacking or just close-to-dinnertime snacking, but either way, we have to adapt these rules so they make sense for our family. Snacks have saved my hide more times than I can count. I never leave home without them.

8. Slow food is happy food--as in, eat slow. This is a work in progress for us. I eat like someone is chasing me because frankly, someone usually is (to nurse, or read a book, or wipe a butt). Now that we are eating together, since we are all engaged in the same activity, it's easier to slow down. But I still need to remind myself to do it! My husband and I both also have a bad habit of rushing our kids while they eat. Work in progress.

9. Eat mostly real food. Another area where we do well, as stated above--I make nearly everything we eat from scratch. It's wonderful to be able to share my love of fresh ingredients and good-for-you food with our children.

10. Remember, eating is joyful. Relax! Now that we are all eating dinner together, I can't believe it took us this long, and can't imagine it any other way. It's so awesome hearing my kids exclaim over parts of the meal they love and ask questions about what everything is. They wander in the kitchen while I am cooking and ask what we are having, and look forward to what new thing they are going to try (for the most part. Middle daughter was not enthused about trying the fingerling potatoes). I'm so excited to instill in my children my love of food and cooking.

Does your family eat all meals together?