the gifting dilemna

We love holidays in my household. Any excuse to get together with family for great food, celebrating, and together time is fine by us. Our favorites are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, all for their own reason. But Easter has its own charm. Its just starting to warm, and the weekend is often spend enjoying some egg hunting outside. What is not to love?

However there is one thing we struggle with a little. Presents. Specifically how to find that balance between not having the holiday be all about what our daughter is going to get, while still treating her a little. Finding the balance of enough, but not too much.

My husband is very much a gifter. He loves finding things that his family and friends will really enjoy and treating them. There is something really special, for both him and the giftee, about opening something that reflects just how well a person knows you and values you. I love that too. I love giving!

BUT I don't want my daughter's biggest associations with these holidays to be getting "stuff," and frankly, she doesn't need anything more anyway! She has plenty of toys, and our house is not large. Plus, we have lots of family that we know she will be getting things from as well. So what do we do?

Well first we reduce: get rid of this idea of quantity being important, and focus on quality. One or two main gifts that we know she's going to adore.

Second, we advise: if we know that certain friends or family will be gifting Gwen we something we will offer gentle guidance. We don't force, and we aren't offended if they buy something else, but we've found that most people who don't have 4 year olds are grateful for a little guidance!

We think beyond toys: Gwen loves getting new clothes, which most people might think would be an unappreciated gift. So we often advise people of what her current sizes are and what gaps her closet has. She loves having fun new items to pick from (superhero anything is a BIG hit right now), and we appreciate not having to break the bank clothing our ever growing girl! We've also had people take Gwen for fun activities instead of gifts, which its been proven provide longer lasting happiness thing things do!

So far we've managed to stick a good balance. Gwen has always been happy and appreciative for what is given to her, without it being the main focus. I hope we can keep this going for all the years to come.


What is your happy medium with gift giving?

Cleaning Green

A couple of years ago, I picked up Renée Loux’s Easy Green Living and read it cover to cover. It’s an informative and inspiring book, filled with ways to live healthier while helping the earth. One of my favorite sections talks about making your own household cleaners. I decided to give it a try and have been hooked ever since. I haven’t bought a commercial cleaner in more than a year! Though I was already using non-toxic name-brand cleaners, I’ve found making my own rewarding, cheaper, and ultimately easier than I thought it would be.

Why switch to non-toxic cleaners in the first place?

Have you ever looked at the ingredients in a spray bottle of a conventional all-purpose cleaner? The list is scary—and dangerous for both human beings and the environment. Common ingredients can include (all sources for this information are cited in Renée’s book):

Ammonia, a toxic substance that can cause permanent damage to the eyes and can burn the skin.

Chlorine, which severely irritates the eyes, skin, and lungs, and is very harmful to inhale. It may cause permanent damage to the lungs, and children are especially at risk for its adverse effects.

Glycol ether, repeated exposure to which can cause liver and kidney damage.

Naptha, found in all purpose glass and surface cleaners, is a possible carcinogen and can cause skin damage, and is very dangerous to inhale.

Phenols, toxic compounds that irritate the eyes, skin, and lungs, and are toxic in the environment.

Terrifying, right? And that’s not even half of the most common ingredients. In the US, manufacturers are not required to list the ingredients in their cleaning products—so we may not even know all the toxic chemicals that we’re using. It’s bad enough to think of the harm this might be causing myself and my husband—but when I started thinking about the possible danger I’m exposing my kids to, for me, switching to non-toxic cleaners was a no-brainer.

Why make your own cleaners?

I look at making my own cleaners the way I look at making most of what we eat from scratch: I know every single thing that has gone into whatever it is we are ingesting, or cleaning with, in this case. No unpronounceable chemicals; no carcinogens or agents harmful to the earth. Before I switched to non-toxic cleaning products, I was always nervous about my kids being around when I cleaned—now I have no fear of them inhaling or swallowing something that can cause them permanent damage.

Making your own cleaners is exponentially less expensive than buying name brand non-toxic ones. There are some wonderful name brand natural cleaners out there, and they do the job well.  But they are pricey, and if you’re a neat freak like me and clean often, those costs can really add up. I order all my ingredients from Vitacost.com. Their prices are up to 40% less than other sites I have come across, and some things are as much as 75% less expensive! You can also visit your local natural health store for most of these. I get spray bottles from my local dollar store. You can even use old spray bottles from store-bought cleaners that have run out—just be sure to wash them out thoroughly before mixing your cleaner in them.

Making your own cleaners is also fun! I absolutely love learning about essential oils and their properties, and combining them to create my own scents gives me a chance to get creative. Be sure to keep your oils out of reach of children—ingesting them in large amounts can be harmful. Another note—if you are using a plastic measuring spoon for your essential oils, wash it out with soap immediately after you finish with it, otherwise the oil will corrode the plastic.

Now that you have some good information, why not give making your own household cleaners a try? Here are some of my favorite recipes, taken from Easy Green Living. I’d love to hear from you if you try these, and how you like them.

Lavender-Lemon Disinfecting Spray

Hands down, my favorite. Smells fantastic and I love that it naturally disinfects! You can use this to clean things like kitchen counters and cutting boards—just keep in mind that it won’t necessarily kill all bacteria from raw poultry and meat. Makes about one pint.

¼ cup inexpensive vodka

½ cup 3% hydrogen peroxide (69 cents a bottle at my local drugstore!)

1 cup water

10 drops essential oil of lavender

5 drops essential oil of lemon

Combine all the ingredients in a spray bottle and swirl to mix them. Be sure not to shake the bottle, or the active oxygen in the peroxide will go flat and lose its action. Spray the surface and wipe, or allow to air dry. Keeps indefinitely!

All-Purpose Citrus Spray

I love this recipe because it uses another inexpensive ingredient: white distilled vinegar. I buy the store brand and the cost ends up being pennies per bottle for this cleaner. One note—if the smell of vinegar bothers you, you may want to skip this one, as the scent does linger for a bit. You may be tempted to add more essential oils to mask the smell—but don’t. When it comes to essential oils, a little goes a long way! Makes about one pint.

½ cup white distilled vinegar

1 tablespoon Citra-Solv Cleaner and Degreaser Concentrate (available at Vitacost.com or your local natural health store)

½ teaspoon natural liquid dish soap or castile soap

1 ½ cups warm water

½ teaspoon total antiseptic essential oils (your choice as to which ones—get creative!)

Combine all the ingredients in a spray bottle and shake well to mix. Keeps indefinitely!

All-Purpose Deodorizing Basic Soda Spray

This is a great recipe for scouring and scrubbing—and it uses two super-inexpensive ingredients—baking and club soda! Be sure to wipe off after spraying, because the baking soda can leave a residue. Makes about one pint.

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ castile soap

½ teaspoon total rosemary and sweet orange essential oils

1 cup very warm water

1 cup club soda

Combine the baking soda, soap, essential oils, and water in a spray bottle. Screw the top on, shake vigorously to combine the ingredients, and then add the club soda. Swirl to mix it in.

Heavy-Duty Floor Cleaner

I don’t know why, but it seems like commercial floor cleaners are the most expensive of the lot. This is easy, cheap, and smells wonderful! My kids and husband have all commented on how good the house smells after I’ve mopped with this.

2 gallons warm water

½ cup distilled white vinegar

¼ cup Citra-Solv Cleaner and Degreaser Concentrate

2 tablespoons natural liquid dish soap

½ teaspoon essential oil of lavender

Mix all ingredients in a bucket, and mop away!

Basic Soda Fizz Toilet Scrub

OK, the toilet situation can get yucky, and you may be temped to use a conventional toxic cleaner because it just makes the grime go away. Don’t do it! This recipe is easy, quick, and cleans just as well.

1 tablespoon castile or other natural liquid soap

1/3 cup baking soda

1/3 distilled white vinegar

8 drops essential oil of lavender, rosemary, or both

Squirt the soap into the toilet bowl, and then drop the baking soda on top. Pour in the vinegar and essential oils. Let it fizz for 2-3 minutes, then scrub the bowl with a toilet brush, and flush. Enjoy the sparkle!

***

Good luck and happy green cleaning!

Balancing Your Beliefs As A Consumer

Navigating through life as a consumer and a mother can often be difficult, especially while trying to make the most eco-friendly, nontoxic and conscientious choices for your family.  I find I struggle with this often, juggling my values and beliefs - trying to figure out which are the most important as I attempt to find a way for them to coexist with my status as a consumer.  It gets even trickier when frugality and determining necessity due to a lack of money come into the mix.  Compromises are inevitably made almost every step of the way. 

From packaging, contents and the potential toxins or waste production those may involve, to the manufacturers and other companies they have connections to, everything is taken into consideration to one degree or another before I make a purchase.  I won’t buy a personal care product without checking its toxicity on the Cosmetics Database first, and if something is only available in a plastic clamshell, then I ask myself if I absolutely need it or can it be avoided?  I was furious a few weeks back when I didn’t catch until after I opened it that the supposed homeopathic hypericum and calendula cream I purchased contained parabens.  When I recently viewed a flow chart of organic food companies and the mega corporations who own them (many of which have ties to Monsanto), it left me with such a feeling of helplessness.  Unless I want to take my family completely off the grid, making our own everything from clothing to soap, growing or only purchasing seasonal foods from local farms and canning what’s needed for the winter…compromises must be made.  It’s a sad commentary on our society that this is an absolute as a consumer if you are trying to lead a more natural lifestyle. 

With organic bananas packaged in plastic bags, recycled toilet paper whitened with dioxins, big box stores like Sams Club offering organic spinach in big plastic containers, Walmart selling Stonyfield Organic….what’s a mother to do?  For me personally, I decided that avoiding toxins in our food, personal care products, and even my daughter’s toys was at the top of my list of priorities.  I spent far too long trying to conceive my daughter and am battling too many hormone issues to be able to ignore that desire.  Whether it be paying the extra .50 a week to buy our milk in non-chemical leaching glass, or trying to eat almost 100% organic, for our family (and my husband agrees), there is no compromise here.  With only one income and lingering debt from fertility treatments, this is no easy task.  It is literally the only thing we spend our money on - the one, single “extravagance” so to speak that we allow ourselves.  It is far too important to us not to do so.  What price do you put on not getting cancer, or watching your child with cancer?  What price would I pay not to have gone through three years of fertility treatment hell to conceive our daughter?  What price would I pay to be able to keep my uterus beyond my 30’s when the time comes that I can no longer tolerate the pain?  Some may disagree with this line of thinking, but with infertility, childhood cancers, hormone related issues and diabetes rates all on the rise, and previously unfathomable occurrences like girls hitting puberty at age SEVEN becoming more common every day, I find it impossible not to see a correlation to the toxins saturating our daily lives.  Will avoiding exposure ensure that none of these things will ever be a problem for my daughter?  Absolutely not, and I’m under no delusions that this is the case.  Are exposures to toxins the only things responsible for all of those problems?  Certainly not, but the bottom line is that at least I can say I tried to do all I could, and that’s what’s important to me. 

Perhaps others are motivated to avoid all things corporate, or their desire to reduce their carbon footprint is their driving force to limit their purchases to local ones.  If that’s their number one passion then more power to them!  I think everyone needs to find their own balance as a consumer.  I’m also not saying I don’t try to do all of these things, and there are certainly other ways I try to eliminate my waste as a consumer, like bringing my own jars to the co-op or using my own bags for produce and even fresh bread.  I also do my best to keep costs down in other ways, like making as much as I can from scratch, or using family cloth for #1 so we don’t go through pricier toilet paper as quickly.  Despite all my efforts, it just seems to me like it is getting more and more difficult to avoid everything, to justify every purchase in every way, and it becomes even harder still when money is thrown into the mix.

One of the things that got me thinking about this topic was realizing the irony of how I purchased the shop lights and grow bulbs that I use to start my seedlings at Walmart.  Having to start over with a new garden this year, and faced with more purchases ahead to make that possible, I am in the same position I was many years ago when I bought those lights – if I want to continue to feed my family in the way I always do, then there is no money to spare and I have to find the materials I need to build the garden at the cheapest cost possible.  Does that mean I may have to make a few purchases there?  Sadly, the answer is probably yes.  Will those purchases, in addition to the grow lights, enable me to continue to grow my organic seeds into pesticide free food for my family, with the closest locality possible?  Absolutely!  It also happens to be the only place around here that carries Calgon water softener at a reasonable price, which I need to keep my cloth diapers from stinking with hard water build-up.  So yes, I purchase the Calgon there in order to not pollute the earth with disposable diapers…compromise, compromise, compromise….  But as my husband pointed out, every time I make an eco-friendly related purchase like organic food at a mainstream store, I vote with my wallet to tell those corporations that this is the direction where consumerism is heading.  This is why large corporations like Proctor and Gamble are acquiring companies like New Chapter Organics, because they can see things heading that direction already.  I suppose the double edged sword of wanting more nontoxic and organic products in the common marketplace at a lower price is that means more nefarious corporations will be involved in the dissemination of those products.

Some may condemn me for shopping at Walmart for any reason, just as I might cringe when I see a child sucking on a toy made of PVC or a TV remote full of flame retardants.  But as much as it might make me uneasy to see that, I try not to let it show, and I try not to judge.  I think every person as a parent and as a human being needs to find their own way of making it all work.  I think we all have our own concerns, and our own ways of prioritizing those concerns.  It doesn’t make us superior because something in our lives may motivate us to care about one thing more than another.  There are so many things to try to keep track of these days, and so many hidden evils to navigate around.  The best thing we can do as consumers is try to keep ourselves educated and aware, in order to make informed decisions at the stores, even if in some cases it means a compromising one.  Most of us try our best to do what we can given the means at our disposal, and that’s all we can really ask of one another.