Monday, October 21, 2013

one day I'll poop in private

Gwen is going through a want to be with one of us at all times phase right now. While just a few weeks ago she would happily wander throughout our downstairs, grabbing a toy from her play kitchen (in our real kitchen) before grabbing a coloring book from the living room, then flopping down on the floor in the dining room to color, now she seems to be developing some fears of being alone* and consequently wants us to go with her anytime she needs something from another room. It also means that she wants to follow us when we go to other rooms, including the bathroom.

We are pretty open in our household when it comes to nudity, and bodily functions. Gwen will take showers with me on the weekends, we change in front of each other, and we often leave the door open when we go to the bathroom. Its just not a big deal. But suddenly my normally quiet "nature calls" times, have become together times with a chatty girl standing by my knee. Its been interesting. I'm all about attachment, but this isn't exactly what I pictured.

The thing is, I don't want to force her out of the room. While I don't quite understand her newly developed fears of our safe home during the light of day, they are still very real to her, and I want to respect that. While I miss her independence, I know it will return and even more so then before. We've had some talks about how she is safe here, how Mama is always nearby and can hear if she needs help, and that she can go from room to room without us, but I know this will take time.

For now we're going day-by-day, and finding the balance of making Gwen feel secure and safe, while still enforcing some personal space during more private moments (we picked a floor tile in the bathroom a safe distance away, and she stands there!). And I know that soon enough I'll get to poop in private again.

Did any of your kids go through a scared phase? What did you find that helped?

* though thankfully not in the comfort of her own bed at night  ::knocks on wood::


Jennifer said... [Reply to comment]

You know, my 4 1/2 year old has just started asking me (and her younger sister) for privacy when she goes into the bathroom. Unfortunately, that privacy doesn't extend to my trips to the bathroom...but we're working on it. I'm not sure that my daughter's determination to join me in the bathroom is based in fear of being alone though - I just think she's nosey and a bit needy. Like you, I'll eventually poop in private again, just no time soon. :)

will1494 said... [Reply to comment]

Yep! My 2.5 yr old says "Hear that?" As he sits beside me while I poo. Nothing like children to keep you humble!

Meegs said... [Reply to comment]

@will1494LOL Will!! Kids definitely level the humility playing field!!

Meegs said... [Reply to comment]

@Jennifer Parenthood... so glamorous. ;-)
Thanks for the comment!

Ashley S said... [Reply to comment]

My son is only 2 so now "scared phase" yet... it's more of a "fearless stage"!

prototypemama said... [Reply to comment]

Yes my daughter is going through that phase right now! She will eventually get over it-- I have four kiddos and they all went through that phase. Some last longer than others but they all returned to being independent

Meegs said... [Reply to comment]

Thanks for the comments guys!

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