tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post8737991187822055615..comments2024-02-25T04:19:51.451-06:00Comments on Connected Mom: Spare the Rod, Spoil the ChildUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-75010689532789224082011-05-23T01:49:58.783-05:002011-05-23T01:49:58.783-05:00@Rachel Lyn
I guess I should have clarified. That...@<a href="#c710582884085742487" rel="nofollow">Rachel Lyn</a><br /><br />I guess I should have clarified. That exact phrase spare the rod, spoil the child is not in the bible.(At least the version I own.) The verse you mentioned is the reason so many people believe it is. I only mentioned it breifly because I didn't want to delve into the religious aspect of things.Rachellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09680878638386939541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-7105828840857424872011-05-21T07:45:44.600-05:002011-05-21T07:45:44.600-05:00It actually is in the Bible. Check out Proverbs 23...It actually is in the Bible. Check out Proverbs 23: 13-14. Not saying I agree with it, just wanted to clarify that it is in the Bible. Great post! Good luck!Rachel Lynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00688744501746634829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-36906307634061249972011-05-20T01:24:10.297-05:002011-05-20T01:24:10.297-05:00Thank you all for the feedback and suggestions. My...Thank you all for the feedback and suggestions. My husband and I are continually looking for ways to maintain an environment of love and respect in our home. Deciding against mainstream parenting is different from how my husband and I were raised, but we both feel like it's the right thing for us. We are excited to learn more and appreciate your info!Rachellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09680878638386939541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-54640775031950035142011-05-20T00:02:59.058-05:002011-05-20T00:02:59.058-05:00I have had some experience with spanking and punis...I have had some experience with spanking and punishment... here's a tidbit: http://peace4parents.com/me-to-you/<br /><br />I agree that children can benefit from guidance and accountability - we all can - some more than others. This article describes an alternative approach to the use of "rod" in the Bible: http://thomashaller.com/PAbiblicalperspectivesonspanking.html<br /><br />When it comes to a Biblical approach, Jesus left us a living example of how to be with others... love. Although the old testament talks about the rod, Jesus does not suggest harming a child once. He actually speaks to the contrary.<br /><br />Punishment is not necessary when parents are clear about what they want and how they will guide the children. It's just a clarification process that's necessary. :) Enjoy the journey and feel free to connect with me if you'd like assistance.Amy Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18394341758645911698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-53401200121608650782011-05-19T19:40:40.479-05:002011-05-19T19:40:40.479-05:00oohh... great post, I love this subject. I was at...oohh... great post, I love this subject. I was attracted to your blog by the title, "Connected Mom," because to me that is what it is all about - connection. I just posted about my favorite parenting books. http://realchilddevelopment.com/parenting/my-favorite-parenting-books<br />I also recommend the Unconditonal parenting, listed above as well as Gordon Neufeld's, Hold on To Your Kids. <br />My husband and I have come into our own and had lots of similar discussions - he also started out pro-spanking, but after more research and discussion has decided against it, thankfully. And we are all so much happier. A much more peaceful, loving, connected home. <br /><br />Good luck!<br /><br />LeslieLesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07725831025483738258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-34026299891746037082011-05-19T09:19:46.458-05:002011-05-19T09:19:46.458-05:00I forgot to add that Unconditional Parenting is wr...I forgot to add that Unconditional Parenting is written by Alfie Kohn.Mandi Spencerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04386061952870946883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-20691115364567227572011-05-19T09:19:08.034-05:002011-05-19T09:19:08.034-05:00I can relate--sort of. My childhood experience wit...I can relate--sort of. My childhood experience with spanking is some of what you describe. There was some of the methodical, not too painful type of spanking that was done purely because "the Bible says so." There were also some times when it was an angry reaction to something I had done (talk back, etc.). Those were more painful, both physically and emotionally.<br /><br />As a parent who is strongly against spanking, I still find it hard not to slip into that pattern when I am frustrated. I have used some spankings in the past and they did not help. All it did was increase the violence between my children. One of my favorite books on the topic is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305813581&sr=8-1" rel="nofollow">Unconditional Parenting</a>. It reminds me why spanking (or any punishment, Kohn argues) doesn't work. There is also <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_27?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=unconditional+parenting+dvd&x=0&y=0&sprefix=unconditional+parenting+dvd" rel="nofollow"> a DVD</a> where the author discusses much of what is written in the book. When my husband and I find ourselves heading in the wrong direction, it is helpful to pop it in and watch it together.Mandi Spencerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04386061952870946883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-68433532450878466452011-05-19T06:16:20.383-05:002011-05-19T06:16:20.383-05:00I am so glad you are asking all the right question...I am so glad you are asking all the right questions! Most parents just do what mainstream does or their parents did just because, even though they feel horrible when doing it.<br /><br />I was smacked as a child (in the christian way) because my mom thought that it was what she HAD to do as a christian mom. Unfortunately a lot of those bible verses have been taken out of context. <br /><br />We have decided to adopt an empathetic/ grace style of parenting and have been getting an AMAZING response from our 2 year old. And it feels just right. As a christian I feel that I want to parent my child as God parents us. With love and Grace. After all He sent His son for us so that we no longer had to atone for our sins, right? What is spanking? Making our child atone for their 'sin'. I dont think God is like that at all!<br /><br />Have a look at my blog and see my journey. I also add a few links to some very informed people.<br />http://connectedchristianmom.blogspot.com/<br />also this woman is a genius: http://www.ahaparenting.com/<br />And here is an IN-DEPTH look into the biblical perspective on spanking: http://parentingfreedom.com/discipline/<br />http://ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com/search/label/Discipline<br />http://whynottrainachild.com/2011/02/28/history-of-spanking-1/<br />Hope this helps and good luck!Raqualhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04523926216858849494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5218215652328409330.post-46667671629504254992011-05-19T04:40:21.908-05:002011-05-19T04:40:21.908-05:00I spend a lot of time researching parenting styles...I spend a lot of time researching parenting styles and I have a keen memory of my childhood and how the few times I was spanked how much respect I lost for my parent (at one point telling my mother that if she didn't want me to hit my sister and me to behave then maybe she should be a better role model). I'm really against corporal punishment and am not found of time outs either (I know - they're ubiquitous , but I don't think they deal with why the child is acting out.) <br /><br />Honestly, I want my son to behave because it feels good, not because he wants to stay out of time out or approval. And the best way we've found to deal with the hitting -which is usually when he's frustrated, angry or tired - we tell him he can stomp, but he can't take his anger out on other people. <br /><br />Most often - and what's been most effective in our house - is I don't respond, I stay calm and I get up and walk away without saying a word. (I don't put my child in time outs, but I put me in one fairly often). But he seems to have gotten the message that hitting is not behavior we engage in our house as our hitting and biting stage was rather short lived. And a few minutes later I'll go back and see if he wants a snack (if the tantrum was out of hunger) or a bath (good scene changer if he's not ready for bed).Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04123785918632054720noreply@blogger.com